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November 18, 2002
gingko biloba
I used to live on Swann Street, a lovely block of gay couples emulating Mrs. Kravitz from Bewitched, lined by beautiful gingko trees. In the fall the golden leaves coat the entire street, and the whole thing looks very pretty at night under the street lamps.
Except for the gingko tree above my former basement apartment, now occupied by Gurl.
Gingko trees are bisexual, with male and female trees. In wiser cities, only male trees are planted, as they are pollution resistant and don't send their roots into the water/sewer pipes. In typical DC idiocy, female trees were planted on Swann street. They drop these huge acidic berries that smell like an old gym sock barfed up by a dog. Later in the fall, Chinese people gather the berries off the street for soup, apparently. We appreciated their help in cleaning up the mess. Even though the trees are sprayed in the spring to reduce fertility and thus fruit production, my stoop was always coated with the goopy mess every morning, and had to be swept regularly.
So I learned a new property of Ginkgo berries today from my woofy physician's assistant. I had to call him up and give him an update on the progress of my mood-moderating medications. Everything's fine, no rages anymore, nor any descents into pits of unemployment depression. I'm making sound and sane decisions, and don't fixate on my problems like I used to. However, there's one drawback to these medications...things tend to uh, take a while, if at all, in bed.
The sixgun always took a while, and now things are even more delayed. The P.A. confirmed this issue of issue, and suggested I start taking double doses of gingko extract vitamins in preparation for any fun I might have in the future. Apparently large doses of gingko biloba increases your shooting time by 30%. He also promises the problem will go away gradually...in ONE TO THREE MONTHS!!! Grrr... Perhaps I'll go lick Gurl's stoop clean every morning, and make myself some nasty gingko soup this weekend.
Makes you wonder about the premature ejaculations on Swann Street these days.
>; )
Posted by jimbo at November 18, 2002 9:54 PM
Comments
I heard heat works well too, like the type of heat found in a dry sauna...
Posted by: mike s. at November 19, 2002 9:27 AM
okay. you wanted a comment as a thank you to your short story so here it is.
since it seems more of an autobiographical rant vs. an actual story (oooh, that sounds kind of bitchy, sorry), i'll write that i enjoyed your description of Swann Street. i used to live in a great townhouse on Corcoran St. near 14th and we used to have those stupid gingko berries too. i used to wish i cooked because they are kind of tasty.
good luck with your other, errr, problems.
Posted by: Jarret at November 21, 2002 10:57 PM