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September 26, 2002

hairy situations

Regarding the perfect 'Dream Job' I followed up on at USDA earlier this week. They were telling me in May that they would post this job announcement:

Jim: We are still planning on advertising this. I am sorry it has taken so long. Will let you know when it is posted.

Thanks hon. However, my address is changing soon. Please do let me know by sending an e-mail message to:
cardboardbox@totallybrokenow.com

I suppose I should approach tomorrows' day off from work with more positivity. I can get a lot of shit done at home, and then lounge the rest of the weekend. I can work on my pickpocketing skills at Union Station with large, unattended hippie backpacks. No doubt I could pilfer quite a few items of value:

"Mommy, someone stole ALL my credit cards! Can you send more?"

More from the Post:
A group of anti-capitalist and anarchist activists plans a "People's Strike," issuing calls to shut down the city by blocking downtown intersections, slowing traffic on the Capital Beltway and targeting corporate and government offices for small-scale protests.

Umm...the Capital Beltway never moves anyway, dummies. It's like the 2nd most congested traffic abyss in the nation. I suppose the protesters could bore the motorists to death with their dogma while they idle in the daily traffic jam.

Much talk about chest hair in the NYTimes. Genre featured the 'Daddy' issue earlier this summer. Jason breaks the mold with his wifebeater and furry shoulders. I'm so very glad. The proof in the pudding will be when we see more furry models in Vanity Fair and Vogue, which I haven't yet. The talk has been talked, now let's see the walk. You would think ending a three year relationship with a furry one would have sated my appetite for furriness, but it hasn't. Must go to the Green Lantern tonight...must seek out someone with a high BHI.

BHI? What's that you ask? Body Hair Index. It's my term to measure body hair extremes.

BHI Alert Levels:

0 - completely hairless, often Asian, female or twink
1 - light dusting in the usual places: pubes, pits and maybe on the legs
2 - small patch between the nips, light hair on arms and legs
3 - noticeable when wearing a wife beater, easily scruffy
4 - fur pokes over tee-shirt collar, arm hair may conceal watch bands
5 - glorious coat on the chest, totally furry arms and legs and ass, maybe some back hair
6 - bull-mongani, sasquatch, yeti

I prefer BHI factor 5 (the ex), but can range from 2 to 6. If you're between 0 and 2, you had better realize you're pretty special in other ways if I'm with you.

Posted by jimbo at September 26, 2002 10:06 AM

Comments

Jimbo - I'm somewhere around a 3 1/2.
:)
rob

Posted by: Rob at September 26, 2002 11:11 AM

WOOOF! Well, gurl, let's see it! Please send all shirtless furry pics to:
Jimbo3DC@aol.com

Posted by: jimbo at September 26, 2002 11:50 AM

1. Ed Harris makes my prostate flutter! Love him.

2. I am a 5 trapped in a 2's body. When I hit puberty I prayed and prayed for a mat of thick dark hair on my chest, legs, arms etc. Never happened and I have been bitter about it ever since. When a guy with a dense hair endowment shaves or trims, I get very irate. Maybe I should rub rogaine on my chest...hmmmm.

Posted by: Michael at September 26, 2002 12:09 PM

I must admit to having shaved my chest from time to time, especially after discovering a 3" hair sprouting from my chest. Thanks to male menopause!

I have thought about "Rogaine Dips" for men, much like how ranchers totally immerse sheep in insecticide "sheep dips" out west. Just drop a guy in a vat of Rogaine daily and see him develop.

Posted by: jimbo at September 26, 2002 1:53 PM

Rogain Dips. Yum. What a concept. And I agree on Ed Harris. Would love to pick his pubes from between my teeth after going for a dive.

joe

Posted by: joe at September 26, 2002 2:11 PM

wheeee, I'm a 5!

*pluck pluck*

here... you 1's and 2's can have some of mine :-)

Posted by: Jason at September 26, 2002 11:24 PM

Hmmm, must see photos of Jason and Rob in all their wonderful hairiness. Jimbo why don't you have pics of these fabulous guys? I look to you to provide me with my BHI fix.

Mark

Posted by: Mark at September 27, 2002 8:31 AM

Jimbo - I sent pics - you can post 'em if you want.
Rob

Posted by: Rob at September 30, 2002 4:22 PM

Okay, after further reading, I have to tell you that as an Asian male, I have gotten the brunt of men looking for smooth Asians. Something about a "child fantasy", I think. Unfortunately for them, I rank as a 4.5 BHI. Yup, hair all over my chest and legs, some on back and arms. I am glad to see some people appreciate hair. Now if I can only meet a man who likes Asians with hair on their body.

Posted by: Tim at October 1, 2002 12:11 AM