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July 10, 2002
Summer tourist Metro etiquette
- Tourist family forming a phalanx on the platform: break through phalanx at the point where the slowest/fattest tourist is walking.
- Cell phone user: gently push them aside, as you would a docile dairy cow. They are so engrossed in their conversation that they won't be offended - or even notice.
- Person ready to enter the subway car before you exit: before exiting the car, assume a rugby tackling stance in anticipation of the door opening. They always move out of the way and wait patiently aside the doors if you do that.
- Tourist on escalator standing on the left, blocking everyone behind them: move immediately behind them within pickpocketing distance and give a resounding "EXCUSE ME!". They move quickly when you say that.
- Person with annoying airport bag with wheels: inevitably their bag will wipe our and the user will have to stop and ajust everything. Stay clear of these people until they wipe out by themselves, then pass gracefully.
- Person with large bag on the metro car, which is hitting everyone else: begin fondling the bag as if you're looking for something in it. The owner of the bag will quickly find ways to keep their bag to themselves. This works in gay bars as well with obnoxious, drunk faghags with large bags.
Posted by jimbo at July 10, 2002 11:21 AM
Comments
http://www.toothpickgirl.com/archives/002570.shtml
something i wrote about the metro in 1996
Posted by: kiri at July 10, 2002 1:36 PM
Requests to snap pictures of MidWestern families in "the BIG CITY". Oblige smiling but insist on being in the picture, further insist on standing very close - or being held by the patriarch, insist that he looks like a young Tom Arnold and the mother a dolled up tramp, constantly refer to the lighting (the sun) as "simply not flattering to anyone who doesn't look like Fabio"
Posted by: HCL at July 10, 2002 1:38 PM
Oooh...good one!
Posted by: Jimbo at July 10, 2002 9:42 PM
Don't give up your seat for anyone. It's much more entertaining to watch the elderly and infirm flail about the car like fourteen year olds in a mosh pit.
Posted by: Craig at August 27, 2002 10:11 AM
Watch where your arms are swinging. I was a victime of a black eye because someone had their elbow pointing in my face and was not paying attention
Posted by: Kathleen at September 10, 2002 9:03 PM