Jimbo,
After I finished reading your July 9th entry, I took a few minutes to think about what you had written. Yes, wouldn't it be great if each and every gay man, lesbian and transgendered person (there's got to be an easier way to write gay, lesbian & transgendered - a personal peeve of mine) would take the time to talk to even one person about the concerns and/or issues that we face? Personally, I wonder if your thought is similiar to mine in that it isn't important enough unless there is a protest involved or the issue of the moment. It could be that gay or straight it would be the same. I don't know. I am a gay man with AIDS and often wonder what happened to the anger, the group support, the protests that were organized - did the issue go away? Seems like it sometimes to me. But, that's just my opinion. Sometimes I think that every "group" are so self-involved that the bigger picture never comes into the picture. It's just the way people are these days, maybe. I'm simply talking out loud here so if anyone reads this there is no need for a coronary over what I've said. As a gay man in my 40's the way I remember it when I was in my 20's was much different than today: we cared more, we were much more vocal, we wrote letters -- but could it be that I simply remember it that way or was it the same? I'll never forget the night my roommate, Mike Hatcher, had a fund raiser in our home for Harvey Milk -- were those the days? Sorry for this mixed bag but hopefully, somehow, someway, it all kind of ties in to each other one way or another.

Hey Jimbo--

Thanks for the comment on my blog, it was nice to meet you too, and your blog is awesome!!!

xxx
girlynyc

Believe me when I say, I know about media blindness or rather, shortsightedness when it comes to "Gay Issues" The worst culprits are sometimes our "Own" media outlets, propagating myths about gay culture and cementing stereotypes in people's minds. Regarding Silence=Death and ranting and raving. When I was 20, in 1984, I heard a woman standing at the top of Castro street ranting into a bull horn about the "Gay Plague" that had taken her brother from her and had begun preying on her friends. She mentioned the Government and Health officials and genuinely scared the crap out of all who stopped to tune in, I cannot thank her enough, at that moment, in that rant, I was made aware of facts that probably saved my life. If the information is important enough, and amendment of the constitution to segregate a portion of the population is pretty darned important, Then I say again, it does not matter how you share your message, as long as it is being shared, I'm all for one on one, six degrees of seperation and all that, marching and screaming does get attention and sometimes if you do it right, the whole choir begins to sing. I talked to 3 people today about the Federal Marriage Amendment and asked them to talk to 3 people about it, maybe somehwere along the line something will change, until then I say take it to the streets and stop this thing. Legally, of course.

I speak for a living - I totally understand and believe that silence = death, but unfortunately many people have taken that to mean that screaming is the only alternative to silence. I speak clearly without rage or even raising my voice and thousands of people hear me just fine. And, in the process I have opened up the minds and hearts of many many straight people who never knew a gay person before they started coming to hear me speak.
I believe there is room for ranting and raving, but I think it's way overrated as a catalyst for change and is not particularly effective in the end. Tends to preach to the choir mostly.

In response to everyone's comments - what I'm trying to say is that the media, politicians and nonprofits will not always represent us. They are all wrapped up in a big $$$/voting game. They are not necessarily our friends and will not deliver the message for us. The only dependable delivery method for our message is ourselves. Protests bring people together, but will always be presented in a biased manner by the media, if at all.

Until very recently, this "traditional marriage" that Bush speaks of was merely a way for property (e.g., women) to be transfered from one man to another.

" Reason and truth will overcome illusion and fear in the end." - So.. when will religion end? :)

Sorry, couldn't resist. I couldn't agree more with you. I've been saying the battle for gay rights is largely a matter of "clean up " work for years now -- getting the average Joe to take to heart what we've been saying for years. This is best done on a case-by-case in-person method, not some grand public "awareness campaign".

First, briefly: It is, in fact, "toe the line," according to Merriam-Webster and other sources. I've seen various explanations for it, but here's one entry on the derivation of the term:

http://www.merriam-webster.com/cgi-bin/wftwarch.pl?042104

Now, the topic at hand: What I think the issue comes down to is ignorance and apathy. People don't know a lot, and what they don't know, they fear. And when it doesn't involve them, they don't care. In marketing, we're told we need to have a 30-second elevator presentation ready to whip out when someone asks about our university/product/company/whatever. Having our 30-second ad for this issue at the ready would also be helpful.

Unfortunately, I'm a pessimist, and I hold out little hope of it being effective. But I keep trying.

This just in: On Saturday Bush said, "A great deal is at stake in this matter. For ages, in every culture, human beings have understood that traditional marriage is critical to the well-being of families. ... And changing the definition of traditional marriage will undermine the family structure."

There you have it. Bush believes that we will undermine the American family. I never thought I'd hear a President say this in my time. GRRRR!

I agree with many of your points jimbo. My partner and I have been "toeing the line" (as in standing toe to toe with the neighbors and residents) of our community for a long while. Living our lives in a "normal" way, the way we have found that works for us, keeping our property up and supporting our community wherever we can. I answer many questions about "gay marriage" and try to put a human face on the issue without browbeating. It works. But there is room for screaming and ranting too. In some areas of our country the Fear that many LGBT persons live with on a daily basis is intolerable and deserves a strong light be trained upon it. I live in a "middle america" "working class" town, and have lived in urban Gay ghettos. The quiet approach leaves too many people on the wayside, many people who, by the nature of their fear, (created by the idea that being gay makes you inferior) cannot voice for themselves their silent prayers for relief from oppression. The gay marriage issue is the litmus test by which we will reveal our true desire as a nation to create and maintain a society that embraces all persons, regardless of percieved difference. If It were a simple case of a majority "not giving a shit" I would agree that the softer, take it slow approach would work, But there are people out their who are convinced we are evil and should be killed, directly discriminated aginst and generally harassed (often in the name of god). Not good. Someone sure as hell better scream about it, because every day the laws in this country favor discrimination of ANY of it's citizens is another day that someone's life is in peril. That's too much of a risk to take. And certainly not something to soft soap. Our Government must clearly and succinctly state that All it's citizens are created equal. That is not the case now. You and I are second class citizens subject to a different classification under the law. Sure tell your friends, your family, but also tell you aldermen, representatives, senators and congressmen, because no matter how many opinions you change, when the time comes to speak up, most people will be thinking of themselves and their own fears, not the nice gay guy down the street who gave them a lesson in "gay's okay 101" Any discussion of the issues of "difference" should be encouraged. Scream it, whisper it, bang it out on a drum, but make yourself heard. but for gosh sakes, don't wait to be asked. Reason and Truth will overcome fear and illusion, I believe that, things are much better than when I was coming out 25 years ago, but there is still a lot of work to be done by each of us in our own special way. Silence=Death I haven't forgotten that.

Jim, blisteringly spot-on post - you've managed to voice things that were jangling around in my head - the issues are much the same in the UK, though the opposition is much less rabid. You're right, and it's an observation I had started to make myself - the 90%-ers.
We should be mindful that *they* are the real audience, and they are made up of reasonable people who when they begin to understand what "rights" we seek will hopefully respond intelligently.

I think we're starting to see a shift in gay politics in the same manner as post-feminism has changed feminist thought. Look at 'bear culture' for one - a faction brought about almost entirely through internal forces rather than a need to define a set of signifiers of group based on 'not being heterosexual' - also the whole 'ex-gay' phenomenon - fifth columnism.

Scary times indeed.

I just wish I could convince a couple of gay Republicans that I know that life isn't going to be very merry if this crowd continues to run the show.

But Jimbo - does this mean you will no longer fly into a righteous rage anymore???

That's too big a part of your personality to give up ;) - but I guess you can focus your rage on the new denizens of 17th street...

hehehehh you know I am a radical on these things

I agree with you - we NEED to talk about how these things affect us and people like us - so many people don't get that my friend Stuart can lose his health bennies cause of HB 751 in VA - they cut his bfs company from giving domestic partner bennies.... *sigh*

But we aren't political enough... we sit dormant while the Bush machine railroads us into Iraq and then the dems follow along like silly puppy dogs and we don't get angry and we don't hold them accountable. We don't stand up and participate in protests regarding racism and sexism in the numbers we need to - we need to be committed to A WHOLESALE change - not just ask for only our rights. It's NOT just about us. It's about setting our society straight and realigning priorities from self-interest to global interest.

ROAR.

Oh and its TOW the line... not toe :)

totally agree, i've always believed this the best way to move - break the foundation piece by piece, and the walls will be easier to push down. now if we could only get the 5% wackos on our side to stop saying we're not political enough. that cheesecurds me off to no end.

I'm gratefull for your post. It will take time and things are likely to get worse before they get better. But they will get better with deliberate hard work and patience.

In my almost 20 years of being out, things have come a long way. I've always thought things would change...slowly. I agree with your idea. Stop the screaming and speak clearly about what it is we want and things will change slowly. Maybe in our lifetime.