Sounded off my sonar on another blog site and found inspiration to fuel some writing. I'm not the only one who makes a sour puss at the upcoming holiday. It's great when you're dating, but really, really sucks when your relationship is in shambles or if you're single.

However, I think those cheesy valentines we used to pass out at school are cute, even though the Valentine's Day exchange at school was a painful exercise in social heirarchy. I just think those colorful paper tokens are so cute. And I do like those 'Be Mine' candies. And chocolate, yeah, I like chocolate too. And I like little teddy bears.

WAIT! I was writing about how much I hate Valentine's Day! Must...focus...on...hatred. Feel the hatred flow within me. But yesterday this guy shows up at my hotel room in Pennsylvania. At first I mistake the guy for Glennalicious, but realize that it's only Colin Farrell in his Bullseye costume. They are easily mistaken for one another.

Anyway, so Bullseye has thirteen peach roses (a little-known Russian tradition I confided in him a month ago) for me, a teddy bear, and a case of Cadbury Creme Eggs. I invite him into my suite, and I start to feed him the creamy filling from my decapitated chocolate eggs. He suggests we play Daredevil and Bullseye, and I say that's a good idea. So I get my blind lawyer act on and then I...well I'd better stop.

Back on being single. My middle brother is convinced that a relationship and ultimately marriage is the sole key to his happiness. He's never been single for longer than a few months. Needless to say, a recent divorce has been hard on him. On the other hand, my oldest brother seems to be very happy in the pursuit of the lovely ladies. I'm not sure where women stand with him between windsurfing, pot smoking and snowboarding.

I'm somewhere in between. I'm all right being single, especially lately as I've written before. I've seen that relationships are hard, and dating is exhausting. Being Jimbo Solo makes life smoother at times. But in the end, even beyond the physicality, one craves the intimacy.

Children? Bah. I have a cute niece and nephew to shower gifts and attention, and then they can go back to their parents. I'm much too self-centered for child rearing. But it's fun to go out and buy valentines with them.

---

'Bezpredelshik' my Kazak students of English once called me. It means 'without limits'. I'd take that as a nickname if it wasn't so difficult to pronounce.

Last Saturday at Cobalt I walk up to this cutie who may or may not have been hovering near me in order to get my attention. Tight white tee shirt and a really cute smile. I noticed he was drinking some kind of funky martini and asked him what it was. We chat for a while but I was really having fun with my friends and the BHI scan came up rather low anyway. Nothing to grab on to there.

When I get back to the geek gang Gurl interrogates me about the guy and we have our little Sex and the City moment with chatter and critique. He mentions in passing "You are SO not afraid to walk up to people and do that!" "What do I have to lose?" I answer. I have friends, I can get sex, I have money for food. If some guy finds me annoying, too hairy, too smooth, too skinny, too big, too sloppy, too queeny, too butch or whatever, I can't be what he may be looking for. There are too many outside factors to consider rejection as a deterrent in meeting people. In fact, any approach to a stranger is more likely to have no results whatsoever. But you can't let that stop you. If you're really lucky, he may be so paranoid that he gives you a false name, which is entertaining in a way to know that you can threaten someone on such a personal level. Gurl and I love doing investigations, and do so as a pro bono service in exchange for information exchange in the future. Gurl finds weblogs to be the Ninth Wonder of the World in that respect.

Anyhoo, I like meeting people, and I don't have a problem meeting strangers. I wish I could bend the time-space continuum to create more time to meet others and get enough naps to stay cheerful. But grampaw jimbo needs his rest and has to work, and so you are denied my presence.