Portland. Portland, Oregon. I feel like I'm in Portland again, or perhaps Vancouver. It's been snowy and wet and drippy here for weeks. It's gonna be a lovely green spring, that's for sure. And spring is here! House finches spotted a few weeks ago with the robins, and yesterday a first sighting of the purple grackle and red-winged blackbird. Hello daffodils, and tree buds, and stuffy head.

Randy rugby player attacks clean-cut jock after shave and haircut. Jocko gets an A+ and a gold star for erotic writing today...any piece about shaving that turns me on is an impressive feat indeed. Y'all know how I feel about beards, fur and scruff...gurl says she can glue fur on a 2X4 and I'll start humping it. I pounce on you like a jungle cat in heat. Please put your PhD to good use and start writing porn for me.

More blogger accolades: Rookie of the Year goes to Chrisafer, and not just because his partner plays in my D&D group. He's got theme, he's got content, he shares, and he's got new technology. You go gurl. Now if only the sexy voiced bloggers Bubba and Dawg would make their hot voxes available thru audblog like the technologically advanced 'Fer. Me knows as a fact that Bubba's got this super-hot deep-voiced Southern drawl that just...well it's just...mmm....and anyway we'd all love to hear Dawg's kindly soft-spoken but way hotter than Mr. Rogers voice too. Anyway, where was I? Best new blog title goes to Beaverhausen. Gurl had to explain the Anastacia Beaverhausen concept to me (Will and Grace reference), and I find it just perfect for a blog title. But John, we're going to have to have a chat about blog voce and self vs. media and what is news.

Welcome: Darren. Who the hell are you anyway? Methinks you're a big gurl from London, but I can't be sure.

Stupid DC Park and Rec doesn't inform us that our practice field is not available on Tuesday, inspiring me to want to run for mayor and completely can that entire department. Practice tonight likely to be cancelled due to precipitation.(Remember: precipitation kills in DC.) Just like Krushcev says: "Ya tebe pakazhu KUZKENU MAT!" Bang my cleats on podium.

Rot and Corruption. You will pay for naming my super hero alter ego 'Hemorrhoda'. Horrors never seen before on the face of Faerun will reach up from the bowels of hell to bring you low.

Giving up stuff for Lent? BWA HA HAAA! I'm raised ELCA Lutheran. We give up nothing. Off to snack on some pickled herring...