the swedish chefThis morning while I was waiting for the bus to work I was approached by a young man in a nice suit who handed me a flyer and politely asked me, “Do you believe we will survive current disasters like the economic crisis, wars around the globe, and impending global warming?”
“Yes, I do,” I replied, and handed his flyer back to him. I did not want the paper to be wasted as I understand how expensive it is to produce nice color copy. Since I’m looking at life in the long-term, I’m concerned about this death cultist’s environmentally unfriendly waste of good paper.
the fenris wolfThe dude was proselytizing for another one of those end-of-days death cults, like the church Sarah Palin attends in Wasilla, Alaska. If a person believes that the end of the world is coming in a few years, how do you think that will influence their day to day policies?
The Rapture is a popular event prophecized by these “Christian” death cults, and Palin’s Assembly of God church is one of them. These people believe in the End of Days, basically an Armegeddon prophecized by a series of events or signs that the end is near. They think Obama is one of these signs, as are a slew of other events that may or may not be interpreted as current events.
(BTW/FYI: the 1991 film The Rapture starring David Duchovny and Mimi Rogers is really rad.)
What frightens me is that these people are planning and training for the end of days, and expect it to come soon (they always frame it as coming “soon,” like so many other death cults). Therefore many of their daily or long-term decisions are based on a global endpoint. These are the kinds of decisions Sarah Palin will make. It is possible that W is also subscribed to this death cult as well.
Her church also believes that you can “pray away the gay.” Last night at the gym I saw a gay who I’ve seen out and about around town, wearing a McCain/Palin 2008 campaign tee-shirt. If you’re supporting representatives from a party whose platform includes the reduction of your basic human rights, with a candidate who would like to wish away your gay, what kind of fucked-up world view do you have about your sexuality?
Betty White as Rose NylundSelf-loathing isn’t the specialty of the gays, straight death-cultists practice self-loathing too. Do you really think you’re such a bad person that God is going to punish you for being so naughty? He’s really going to blow up the world for your sins? Really? That’s bullshit. Stop hating yourself and people as a whole, buck up and start loving life, you idiots.
I’d like to think I’m a person of faith, but these crazy-ass death cults give higher powers a bad name. And as cranky as I can get, I don’t believe I’m going to witness the end of the world in my lifetime. I think life is too amazing right now to think that some higher power is planning the destruction of the universe. Sometimes I believe life is actually quite mundane and we won’t be given the pleasure of witnessing anything exciting like an apocalypse anytime soon. Life goes on, and isn’t usually that interesting. My outlook depends on my mood.
Death cults are for people who can’t handle reality. Real life is tough, and the next ten years are going to suck. Most people don’t have the balls to handle real life, so they lean on some whack mythology to help them cope. Imagining four gnarly horsemen and pearls in the sky is one way out of dealing with the daily hardships in life. If you’re looking forward to the end of days, you basically don’t have to deal with daily life. To me, that is a weak way of dealing with everyday life. I believe life will go on, and we have to face it and do our best to make the world better. If that kook at the bus stop hadn’t come up to me before my morning coffee riled me up, I woulda said the same thing to him.
The accompanying images have nothing to do with this post, other than being part of a previous post I wrote about Betty White and the end of days. One could just as easily believe that Betty White, Fenris Wolf, and the Swedish Chef are signs of the upcoming end of days too.


  1. Jujupiter says:

    I was wondering about the images!
    Personally, I think the end of days will come if Sarah Palin is elected!

  2. Rick says:

    That Betty White-Golden Girls-End of Days website is like some crazy after-school special produced by a graduate student in liberal studies after taking psilocybin. Ye gods, that music. Wackier than chocolate-chip french toast on a stick.

  3. Matthew Thompson says:

    I wish they would hurry up and drink their Kool-aid laced with cyanide… the world would be better off without moronic end-of-days nuts. Studies show conservatives live in fear… grow some fucking balls, no one is out to steal your precious tax dollars or turn your children into homosexuals. Conservatives are just a bunch of pussies.

  4. Luther says:

    Jimbo, this is too heavy and too deep to think on at the end of this day!!!!!!!!

  5. Michael Bruck says:

    I thought that all evangelicals, rapture ready or not, are on that trip where their actions have no consequence because all they have to do to be forgiven is to ‘pledge allegiance’ to Jesus.

  6. DougT says:

    Great post. Back in my born-again days in the early 1970s, everyone was atwitter about Hal Lindsay’s recently released book The Late Great Planet Earth. It did the Rapture and Apocalypse from a Cold War perspective. The death cultists have pretty much rewritten the story line to accommodate today’s political reality. (Lindsay postulated the Rapture rather than a Western victory as the outcome of the Cold War). That’s the thing about the end times folks- their story will still be made to fit current events no mater what path history ends up taking.

  7. cb says:

    I’m a firm believer in the Rapture. But for me it usually happens a couple times a weekend… and I never end up leaving the bedroom.

  8. Mark says:

    I loved “The Rapture”, and you’re pretty much the only other human being who has seen it besides me.

  9. Lee says:

    But Jimbo! Betty White IS the Swedish Chef! Notice how they haven’t been seen in the same room together EVER?!

  10. cb in ca says:

    Jimbo: The American “evangelical” scene is, sadly, too fixed on the Rapture, a secret coming of Jesus Christ who will take His believers out of the world before the 7 year tribulation “hell” breaks loose.
    Such a view is not Biblical; the Protestant Reformers are much sounder reading on the subject. More recently, theologians like Berkhof and Mueller (LC-MS Lutheran) give a much better approach to the end of the world. A reformation Christian