Are you ready for the Apocalypse?! I know I am! I’m certainly going to read what Forrest Griffin has to say about it too, if I could only get past the cover…

OMG OMG OMG all of DC and my office is abuzz about the impending government shutdown. FYI some District of Columbia services will also be shut down if this happens which will suck. It’s all fun and games until your trash doesn’t get picked up, then everyone will start bitching. And our already morbidly obese rats will get even fatter. And don’t believe everything you hear from Republicans about government employees. As with many things politicians say, much of it is either a lie or is just plain wrong. Here’s 5 myths about federal workers, dispelled.

I was serving in Peace Corps when the last shutdown happened. Fortunately we did get our monthly stipend check, but it was stressful to be dependent on a check that might not come because of THE FUCKING FUCKTARDS WHO GOT ELECTED WHO CAN’T GET THEIR GODDAMN SHIT TOGETHER BECAUSE THEY’RE FUCKING IDEOLOGICAL FUCKTARDS!!! ALL OF THEM! Sorry I had to get that out of my system but now I feel better.

Is anyone else obsessed with Paul Ryan’s hair? I can’t stop looking at it. Yeah he’s kind of attractive but his hair is so distracting…it’s like it is its own entity. Almost a separate organism living atop his head. Do you think Paul Ryan uses Just For Men like BrettCajun does? If so, he mixes it in with a hearty amount of gelatin or some kind of adhesive plasticine hair product. I do know Brett styles his hair with constant applications of RID lice removal hair gel but I don’t know what Paul Ryan uses.

The piece of shit on-demand water heater that runs the hot water in our house is on the fritz again. Cold showers all week. Fuck eco-friendly tech, it never works and “organic” food tastes like shit while I’m on the topic. Oh, and by the way, tea tree oil is not the goddamn solution for everything so stop offering to put it on my cuts and bruises, OK? And I’m not going to use it on my laundry either so put that shit away and stop talking about it you goddamn hippie. And go take a shower.

Anyway, between that, the shutdown and sketchy men in DC I’m tempted to head up to NYC for a weekend of fun. I got an invite and a free place to stay and I may just take a Fukitol pill and go up there on a whim.

Here’s is a cute video to take your mind off things: Giant Otters of the Amazon!

12 Comments

  1. Sheepy says:

    I lived in DC during the last shutdown. The trash piled up everywhere, but DC was a grimmer, grimier city then anyway, so it was hard to tell that anything special was happening.

    (I’ve had a full life. Oh, the things I’ve seen. The first Clinton administration. The Nagano Olympics. Microsoft Windows ’95. But I’m 41 now. Time to die…)

  2. Mari says:

    What’s with hatin’ organics? Weren’t you at my mojitos and tater tots party? The mint was organic. Organic as in I was too lazy to do anything.

  3. brettcajun says:

    Lady, you are SOOOOO in need of getting laid. The bitch-o-meter I’m holding is going through the roof!

    If you suggest I use “Just For Men” one more time, I’m coming to DC to impale you with industrial sized tampons. It AIN’T gonna be pretty gurl! Grrr…

  4. rusty,out on the factory floor says:

    I clicked on the link to the Giant Otters of the Amazon expecting to see some delightfully hairy Brazilian men with enormous… Oh never mind, fooled again.

  5. Luther says:

    Gov. workers gettin their blackberries taken away, oh what shall they do? Tech withdrawals! by the way the prez and congress still get paid. luckily i dont work for the gov. last shutdown i didnt feel a bit! I tried just for men when i was younger but now just let the grey go and when feeling festive i just dye it blue! hey us oldsters still have fun!!! take it easy jimbo!

  6. mike/ says:

    Paul Ryan’s hair? last night Rachel mentioned how people tell her he has the best abs in the Congress! she sorta had this “ick” look on her face; she even hinted it’s something she doesn’t want to verify…

  7. homer says:

    I gave Brett a gift certificate for RID for his 50th birthday gift last year.

  8. brettcajun says:

    For Christmas, I gave Homer a Jan Brewer blow-up doll with optional strap-on attachment. They are now lovers and will be wed at a future date! So, romantic. :)

  9. Lee says:

    Brett – HA!

    And I occasionally eat organic food, it’s not all bad! And although I get my laundry detergent at the health food store, it doesn’t contain tea tree oil.

  10. Rick says:

    And no one mentioned smokin’ hot Forrest Griffin above? Geez, are you all blind?

  11. Tinisha Duncomb says:

    You make it enjoyable and you still take care of to keep it sensible.