Whenever I pass the Just For Men facial hair dye product section in the pharmacy or grocery store I ALWAYS do a full stop and admire the beard models on the packaging. You could set a Jimbo trap with one of those boxes as bait and you’d snare me easily. My favorite model is Mr. Light-Medium Brown shown at the far right below. Which one is your favorite?

However it has come to my attention that a close acquaintance of mine is suspected of using this product in a serious manner (unlike Brian Wilson‘s sideshow beard).

Now I ain’t saying dying your beard is a crime, and I must be as sensitive as I can on this topic because guys get really insecure and nervous about hair loss and greying. But all I’m sayin’ is that whenever I see someone with a dye job I can tell it’s a dye job. And like my mom always says, “If you can tell something’s been done then you shouldn’t have done it.” (In regards to physical augmentation). In full sunlight, most dye jobs have a tint of purple to them, or are darker than Asian or Native American hair color. And if you aren’t Asian or Native American, it’ just doesn’t look natural.

Plus I think guys who are going bald or greying are hot (except for Anderson Cooper who I loathe). Guys just work that Daddy angle and own your age!

In related news, I think the merciless media attention to Prince William’s rapidly receding hairline in the tabloids is really mean. I’d totally tap that and I think I’d make a fine Camillia.

FYI here is a very very nice unaugmented beard:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/onethsndwords/5521368637/

18 Comments

  1. homer says:

    The middle one is my favorite, or the guy with the lovely auburn beard. SIGH. Unfortunately, my beard is getting dramatically white on one side while the other side stays the same.

  2. brettcajun says:

    LOL!!! Don’t pick on poor TJ. He’s 40 and prematurely graying. I am just glad I have Peter Pan like scruff.. all natural and untouched by Just For Men. Mmmh
    mm.

  3. Russ says:

    I have to agree with Homer, I like the middle guy. The blond looks like he has had work done. :)

  4. Mike says:

    Jim, C’mon, that’s you on the left box, isn’t it?

  5. Jim says:

    Hey Homer! I confess to having your problem and using Just for Men to fix it. As my beard whitened, the right side was way ahead of the left. I artfully used a tiny amount of J4M to darken the right side just enough to match the left. I applied less and less as time passed and, about 8 months later, the sides had evened out naturally.

    I prefer a darker beard but buddy on the right does have a lovely smile, doesn’t he?

  6. Ohio Tom says:

    For me, no gray means no play.

  7. mike/ says:

    i did it once because the guy who cuts my hair said that your beard is supposed to match your eyebrows(?) looked stupid! and why are your eyebrows always so much darker anyway? weird…

  8. Partick says:

    The gray is marching its way from my temples to the north and south, but I never once thought of using the stuff. Too much maintenance for me. And you’re right… if you can tell it’s a dye job it ain’t good.

  9. Steve in NH says:

    I have oogled those Just For Men models for years. I had a favorite but he disapperaed a few years back. I am gray on the chin but it’s pretty symmetrical. My moustache, on the other hand, has just a few streaks which look alarmingly like snot. I have plucked them occasionally but I can’t keep doing that. What choice do I have? Magic Marker maybe?

  10. BustersDad says:

    I like your mom’s saying. An old friend’s grandmother’s version was “trying to look cute but just looking curious.” Not only does it work for bad dye jobs but also ridiculous shoes, short-sleeved outfits when a winter coat would be more appropriate, and many, many age inappropriate ensembles. It is a great old school snarky comment.

    And I would add my vote to Mr. Light Brown’s tally — or anywhere else he would like my vote.

  11. TSheehanDC says:

    I’ll take the one in the light brown please. I’ve tried that stuff before, right before some important event or party when I wanted to look a bit…um, less old. The biggest problem is that it only lasts about 2 days, and it rubs off on your pillow case.

  12. Zane says:

    One or three.

    Not liking Anderson (le gasp), he is so hot!!!!

  13. Rick says:

    Totally agree with you about the guy on the right. But this is the only time I’ll side with the Right. lol

    Also, and this is key, I can’t believe there’s another guy on this earth who loathes Anderson Cooper. I never have understood the passionate obsession most gay men have with him. He has a squeaky voice, isn’t well-built and, let’s face it, never paid his dues.

    He got where he is because he’s a Vanderbilt and Mummy has connections up the wazoo.

  14. jimbo.info » Blog Archive » Does Paul Ryan use Just For Men? says:

    […] « Just For Men – It’s a trap! […]

  15. USMaleSF says:

    The guy in the middle for sure.

    And I use the stuff on my beard and mustache. Started out because it was greying in patches. Now I used it sparingly, making sure some of the grey comes through. And I leave my silver-grey short-clipped head hair completely alone.

  16. jimbo.info » Blog Archive » The Virtues of Growing a Beard says:

    […] to grow one out before it got grey, but it’s not too late. You don’t have to rely on Just For Men like some people we know either. This is a beard, not this summer’s hot horizontal-striped […]

  17. Timothy Perkins says:

    I have to agree with Homer, I like the middle guy.

  18. Brian says:

    I was actually stumbled onto this website trying to figure out the name of the model on the far left…lol He’s a hottie.