It was a cold Saturday evening at Nellie’s after a long day of rugby. I was hosting a rugby player from the Atlanta Bucks team who were so kind to travel all the way to DC to play with us. I sensed my guest wanted to get back home, drop his stuff off, shower and chill a bit before going out again which is reasonable after playing a full rugby match on a cold day.

So being a good host and about to take my guest home from the bar, I happen to stop to say hi to a person who was on one of the ski trips I went on this winter. She’s nice enough, but this bitch keeps asking – no, DEMANDING – I buy her a drink. “Buy me a drink!” she says over and over again. Repeatedly. Sure she was cute and scruffy and furry and I was tempted to do some fubbing but her pleas for another beverage was starting to become pathetic. Plus, what do I look like, your fucking Sugar Daddy? Yeah, I’m 40 but contrary to popular Republican propaganda I’m not an overpaid government employee with expendable cash to buy drinks for random requests. I repeatedly declined politely as I could, saying I’d be back later, but her pleas kept coming. Gurl please have some sense of self-worth!

I normally would let something like this slide, but she was being such a pathetic alcohol whore it was worth noting on this here blog. Plus, ever since Wicked Witch of the South BrettCajun turned me into Cuntzilla I don’t put up with that crap anymore. As I left with my guest I watched the drink whore start working another bar patron for a free cocktail. It was sad.

Now I know these are hard economic times but when times were tough for me between jobs I’d just opt to not go out to bars, restaurants and movie theaters to save money for things like food and rent. And if I did go out, I certainly didn’t debase myself and beg for drinks like some kind of desperate New York Avenue tranny crackwhore. As my guest and I walked home I thought about what I might say to the drink whore again: “Listen, you might as well start packing to move outta town because I’m going to destroy your reputation here in DC.”

Just another day for Cuntzilla.


  1. brettcajun says:

    HA HA! Don’t you hate squishy alcoholics? She was squishy wasn’t she? I would have pinched her arms and said, “Honey… less booze… more gym”, gave her a wink, and whispered “The Book of Brett… it will change your life!”

  2. jimbo says:

    Actually she was kind of hot, tight, bearded and very hairy, but the desperate begging for alcohol was a huge turn off.

  3. brettcajun says:

    Dude. I thought you were talking about a real “girl”. LOL.

  4. RJ says:

    He already said that this girl was scruffy and furry…

    So in short, brettcajun appears to, in responding to your post that complains about something that bothers you, have revealed he has not read the whole thing. May I suggest that you link him to the post you made about how much that bothers you?

    I am unsure how to phrase the above to make it sound more pithily flippant and less bitchy. = (

  5. Mike P says:

    I’m confused. Are you “Bi” or something?

  6. jimbo says:

    I think I should have used the word “gurl” instead of “girl” in this post.

    The offender was a guy and I was in a gay bar and he’s gay and I am too.
    >; )

  7. RJ says:

    You’re gay, I’m gay, we’re all gay for… aaand I just painted myself into a corner.

    At least the commonly accepted slang term for homosexuality isn’t “orange”. That’d be bruuutal.

  8. Mike P says:

    If homosexuality = orange then John Boehner would be gay.