I just let the police out after making a report and I’m guessing I’m going to sleep lightly tonight, so grab an egg nog and read my Christmas Eve tale…

At about 11:50 tonight I was playing Civilization V on the computer in my bedroom on the 3rd floor of the house I live in, not moving around much other than quiet keystrokes to move my troops, when I heard a noise downstairs on the 2nd floor. The only people who have keys to my place are my landlord and the crazy cat lady who feeds my fish when I’m away. I figured it might have been the landlord, but he usually lets me know when he comes to visit as he no longer lives here, and he usually calls out hello or something when he comes in.

I had a bag of bottles and other recyclables (to be put on the curb) near the window that looks out over the deck and back yard, and I heard that get kicked or moved, then a series of loud footsteps and a door closing. It didn’t sound like the ground floor entrance door closing, which was my first clue that something was wrong. I listened for a bit, put my jammies on and went downstairs to the 2nd floor. Probably not the smartest idea but at this point I still thought it was the landlord.

When I got downstairs the first thing I noticed was that it was cold as if a door or window had been open for a while. But the windows were all shut and so was the door to the deck. But then I looked closer and saw that the window was open just a crack, and the screen was missing. I checked the door and it was unlocked (I always have it locked). I went out on the deck and saw no trace of the intruder, but the screen of the window had been carefully removed and placed to one side.

Judging by how cold it was on the 2nd floor, the window had been open for some time and he was very quiet when he came in. I’m guessing he freaked out and left after he tripped over the bag of recyclables and made the first noise. He escaped off an adjoining roof of the neighbor’s house. Nothing is missing though, nothing valuable was out in the open really. And I’m OK if not a little freaked out.

I called 911 and four cars arrived within minutes – I’ll have to hand it to the MPD for a very quick response. They sent a car into the alley behind the house, some guys to check all the escape routes back there and two cars to greet me at the front door. I made a report with an investigator and they were fairly efficient and very polite. I made sure the back door and window were as secure as they can be, but I think some bars and a deadbolt are in order soon.

So Merry Christmas everyone, and don’t forget to hide your kids and hide your wife:


  1. brettcajun says:

    That is very creepy. Do you still have a baseball bat lying around just in case? Can you swing manly? Good to know that the cops were fast.

    Have a Merry Christmas boo. BIG HUG.

  2. Jim says:

    Happy (rest of) Holidays, man.

    What is with burglars these days? Last week my landlord called me at work saying “Don’t panic – someone called a 911 Fire call in about your specific apartment. There was no fire but the firemen/police had to push the door in. I’ve nailed the door frame back. It’s solid but I’ll be there tomorrow with a more long-term fix.” At first I thought “Freaks!” As it turned out, the call has come 5min after my other-half had left. Hmmm, says I. The building’s had break-ins now and then and the landlord has installed security cameras here and there.

    A couple of days later he said he’d reviewed the tapes and sent copies to the police. When the firemen arrived and used their master key to open the security door, a couple of sketchy characters can be seen casually walking in behind them. Moments later, they appear on the basement laundry-room cam and stand around there, looking out the window which would show … the police-car and fire-truck. There’s a few minutes of pacing and having a cigarette. I guess they didn’t count on the police hanging around until the landlord got there because about the time the firemen left, there was a heated discussion and they can be seen (CLEARLY!) splitting on front-door cam. Sorry guys, the local popo aren’t the brightest but they’re not going to leave the apartment with the door kicked in until someone in the know arrives. Schmucks! Probably the assholes who burgled the elderly couple in the basement while they were out walking their dog – like they did every morning.

    Wait wait wait wait wait… you play Civ V in the nude? You ROCK!

  3. John says:

    Creepy. Glad you are OK.

  4. Steve in NH says:


    Glad you’re okay. Here in pokey NH I never worried about crime until I got a call on a Sunday morning that my office had been broken into by some junkie. It changes you. Now I have an alarm there and my house is like fort knox. I always thought “self-important pussy, you think everybody wants to rob your sorry ass” when I saw an ADT sign. I don’t any more. I stopped short of getting a gun however — I joke that it would “end up in my mouth”. Glad the guy left before you encountered him!

    I enjoy your blog very much. Happy 40th. Happy New Year.

    Steve in NH

  5. lazybythelake says:

    this reminds me a little of a summer i was living in nyc on the first floor and one night when the window was open an arm came through it flailing wildly. i had just arrived and had nothing in the apt but a bed, 4 highball glasses and a bottle each of rum and tonic. so, i threw the drink in my hand as hard as i could and viola! the arm disappeared.

    glad to hear your yikes-y encounter was a non-encounter of the creep.

  6. Blobby says:

    Man, I’d hate that. Glad all is “good”.

  7. Jeffrey C says:

    When BrettCajun asked you if you can swing manly, I’m pretty sure he was propositioning you for sex.

  8. Ohio Tom says:

    You play Civ without jammies?

  9. West Village Bill says:

    Sorry you had to experience this sort of thing, especially at Christmastime.

  10. Mari says:

    Glad you’re okay and nothing stolen. Recycling saves the day.
    If you want I have a huge rolling pin that is my current 1st floor defense system, oh and the kitchen full of knives. My new hubby comes with guns, but really, the rolling pin works better.

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