Archive for the ‘geek’ Category

Apparently Madonna cast a spell on all of us, bringing about an Age of Chaos.

Her track “Like a Prayer” has lyrics saying “I close my eyes and I think I’m falling out of the sky.” This track tells the story of Lucifer, the Fallen Angel.

The question is: would Stevie Nicks have been a better choice as a primary spellcaster? I’ll bet Stevie could have done it on her own without the help of Cee Lo, Minaj and MIA.

Speaking of twirling divas, here’s a compilation of all the twirling costume changes from season 3 of Wonder Woman:

Check out her deluxe motocross outfit!

This rat picture has nothing to do with the post but I think it's cuteI have noticed the gays don’t have their iPhones out obsessively checking Grindr all the time anymore. I’m guessing the craze is over and also people may have realized how rude and/or douchey they were looking checking their Grindr while in a gay bar. Or maybe they’re scared their dick pictures will get hacked. Oopsie!

Anyway, I’m happy to see people are experiencing others in a live setting without the use of a device. It was getting unsettling there for a while and I was starting to think SkyNet had taken over the gays.

A few people have sent me this link about a new phenomenon called “Phone Stacking.” Basically when a group of people are out at a restaurant or bar they all put their phones in a stack. The first person who compulsively grabs their phone to check a text or Grindr foots the bill. I like that since very few texts are really that important that you have to check it during a meal. You’re not a EMT or a CDC fatal disease outbreak epidemiologist, are you? No you’re not. But there are still plenty of self-important people in DC who will continue to do that. But for the most part I believe people are getting better with behavior and devices. Every new invention brings with it some social situation that could be negatively affected. At the advent of the toilet seat, we had to learn when to put it up or down when we were done, depending on the household. Similarly when we all got email for the first time, many learned not to forward every. single. joke. they received in their inbox. There are a few people who forward everything they receive to a mass e-mail list but they are so few they’re endearing at this point and I just hit ‘delete’.

Anyway, where’s some fun stuff for the weekend. First a fun not-electronica Robyn mashup:

And a flying dildo invades a Russian press conference!

This is kind of amazing because dildos are fairly heavy, so it takes a lot of lift to get that thing aloft and stay horizontal like that. I’m guessing they hollowed one out or used a lighter foam cast.

I will give her all the butter she wants. Everything at our wedding will have butter in it!!!

And the dude is Norwegian which is awesome.

It’s Movember y’all, and there are ‘staches everywhere the eye can see. I can’t get enough of it and to me it’s better than Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving combined. The only problem is not everyone keeps their ‘stache afterwards but I can hope some do keep their ‘stache.

But as a mustache expert I question the act of growing a ‘stache from the clean-shaven state. A ‘stache will work out better if you shave from a full beard to a ‘stache. If you grow it out from scratch you’ll inevitably get an awkward growth phase that doesn’t look so hot.

Other miscellany: GWAR guitarist Cory Smoot (Flattus Maximus) passed away last week. Very sad news. I saw GWAR the first time about 15 years ago in Portland, Oregon and have seen them many times since. I believe Flattus himself spewed unholy fluids on me at one concert where I was in the greasy mosh pit so long my contact lenses were dyed red. It took several showers to get the food coloring out of my skin.

Don’t freak out this Wednesday, November 9 at 2pm EST where FEMA and the FCC will take over your television for a short time to exercise a nationwide test of the Emergency Alert System. I’m expecting the paranoid Teabaggers and anti-Obama people to freak out about this. But they’d also freak out if we didn’t do this too, so you can never placate those types. Anyway it’s just an exercise, a test to see if a nationwide notification system works so don’t freak out when Real Housewives is interrupted.

Here’s an interesting article from DC’s Washington Blade that brings up some good discussion about the “It Gets Better” YouTube anti-bullying campaign – has it jumped the shark? I don’t feel comfortable that towards the end of the trend that some organizations somehow felt they had to post a video because everyone else had posted one too. I’d rather watch a sincere first-person testimony instead of a fake, scripted, and ultimately insincere speech. What if the person on the video has no frikkin’ idea about how it gets better? The audience can detect a genuine sentiment over something an individual or organization felt obliged to perform. Read the article and the comments for more views on this topic.

Here is a new Dairy Queen commercial featuring my favorite ‘stached spokesMAN:

Depending on the weather, me and some friends may go beach camping at Assateague Island National Seashore this Veteran’s Day weekend. It is where the feral Chincoteague ponies roam, and the locale that inspired the favorite little girl’s book Misty of Chincoteague. I’ve camped there before and it’s very scenic, but let me tell ya those coastal mosquitoes are the worst I’ve ever encountered. They’re vicious and persistent blood-sucking monsters so we’ll be sure to bring the bug spray. I’ve been to Alaska, the Boundary Waters, and the Great Dismal Swamp and I must say the DelMarVa mosquitoes are the worst.

La Brea Tar PitsMy first trip to Los Angeles, California was a blast due in great part to the lovely hosting of Dingo. He took me everywhere and then some. I had totally forgotten about the La Brea Tar Pits and I liked that the most – I’m totally into giant mammals and the Pleistocene era.

Dingo took me on a surprise visit to an estate sale of a falling star who was somehow related to Michael Jackson’s Thriller album. Let’s just say it was an eye-opener and a life lesson. I would take from that experience that most of us get a single golden moment in our lives, and it’s what you do with the rest of your life that eventually matters more.

I also enjoyed sipping fruity drinks at The Tonga Hut, L.A.’s Original Tiki Bar, established in 1958. I had to resist the urge to start doing the Haka after a few drinks, but that might have frightened Dingo and the other bar patrons. Congrats to the All-Blacks on their World Cup win by the way.

Another treat was dining from The Nom Nom Truck, a specialty food truck:
The Nom Nom Truck
We need more food trucks like this in DC.

I got my wish and we went to The Pan-Pacific Recreation Center, with a replica architectural feature from the Pan-Pacific Auditorium, where the epic motion picture Xanadu was filmed:
Pan-Pacific Recreation Center
I could feel the streamers of ambient radiance streaming from my behind as we left.

Later on we went to the Griffith Observatory which was recently remodeled for additional space. The guy giving our planetarium presentation was certainly well versed in orating with flair and drama. His delivery wasn’t dry like the usual museum presentation and kept us awake. I wonder if he wasn’t a former actor or maybe the planetarium interpretive staff gets drama training once in a while since it is L.A. after all. One of the exhibits showed you how gay you were on a rainbow scale:
You Are This Gay
The view from the observatory showed how bad the smog was that weekend:
Smog
I had to freebase decongestants the whole time I was there as I turned into a snot factory. Apparently I’m OK with the extreme pollen and mold here in the Mid-Atlantic, but not so good with smog.

The main reason for my trip was to go to the Robyn concert at the Hollywood Bowl, featuring Royskopp as the opening act. I wasn’t so keen on Royskopp, but Robyn didn’t disappoint, and the light show was pretty impressive too:
Hollywood Bowl
Does anyone remember Waremouse, a former DC blogger? He lives in the L.A. area now, and got the tickets and it was good to hang out with him too. He says hi. I met Waremouse and Dingo through this blog, and it was a reminder that while blogging may be going by the wayside, I’ve met a lot of cool people because of it.

On the way to a fine whiskey bar called Seven Grand we stopped at the Bradbury Building where the 1982 sci-fi film Blade Runner was filmed. Here I am pretending to be Harrison Ford hunting down replicants:
Rick Deckard
I must mention the flight to L.A. was pretty cool too, with stunning views of desert landforms in Colorado and Utah, and I think this was the Grand Canyon:
Grand Canyon
I also flew over Death Valley, and there was a whole lot of nothing out there, but still pretty spectacular in a barren way.

Next trip: Dallas, Texas for the Hellfest rugby tournament!

Stache Oct. 1. 2011Apparently my friend Patrick from Tucson won the mustache category at the National Beard and Mustache Championships in Lancaster, Pennsylvania this weekend, although I haven’t been able to find official results yet. The question is: will Patrick be representing the U.S. at the world competition next year in Austria? With a great ‘stache comes great responsibility, so we shall see.

BREAKING NEWS: Results of the 2011 National Beard and Moustache Championships from the New York Times.

I had planned on going to Lancaster but a wedding of my former neighbors in Shaw came up. I go birdwatching with the groom and take care of their kitties when they’re away sometimes. Thankfully it was in Arlington, but with the Green Line down this weekend for maintenance it was a challenge, especially in a suit. I dread the day a raise or promotion at work involves wearing a suit all the time. I don’t know if I can handle it. It feels like I’m wearing a parka, even in October. Why aren’t sarongs considered formal in the US?

Anyway my beard is returning and the ‘stache blending back in again. It got some interesting comments, mostly to the tune of “baw chikka-waw-waaaw…” I found myself overgrooming it often. A beard is actually easier to maintain in my opinion.

I had a nice three-day weekend, and spent much of Saturday on my bike. We had a bye weekend from rugby but I went down to the Mall to watch a match behind the Holocaust Museum in the shadow of the Washington Monument:
PACvsNorfolkOct8b
The soundtrack for the month comes courtesy of The Young Professionals, a group from Israel who have recently released their album 9:00 TO 17:00, 17:00 To Whenever. This is the group that released the fun hit D.I.S.C.O. this summer. The album as a whole is great, and I haven’t been this excited about an artist since Robyn. The album touches on themes about love, sex and the Internet, and disappointment – in that order. Totally hits my buttons, and I like almost every track on the album. It doesn’t hurt that Ivri is kind of adorkable as well. Here’s their latest release 20 Seconds:

I think it’s about sexual desperation on the Internet or something. I can relate. I hope they come to DC, but I would travel up to New York to see them.

Turkey LegPhoto at left taken by Darth Jersey at the Maryland Renaissance Festival. If I don’t have a roast turkey leg at least once a year I will die. But watch out for that mead (honey wine)! I had a bit too much of that stuff and the results are comparable to drinking too many wine coolers. Except I think mead has a higher alcohol content and way too much sugar. I was dehydrated as hell and quite a mess by the time I got home.

There was one person there with smoked steampunk goggles. Steampunk couture is totally inappropriate for Renassiance festivals. There was even a person with a platinum blond wig, elf ears and black makeup – clearly a dark elf on the premises! So I shouted the alarm to warn the others of the darkfey incursion and screamed “DROW!” I don’t know how she was walking about in the daylight. Must have been due to some dark pact.

Attendance was surprisingly low at the festival, which may have been due to the humid weather following a week of rain last week. It just started so maybe people are waiting for cooler weather. Not too many Renn Fest hotties to be seen either. I was hoping for a ranger or a rogue with a longsword and a beard like Matt Fijko: Corporate Trader.

THIS JUST IN, from Brightest Young Things: The Sluts of Rennfest.

I’m sure you all heard it was the tenth anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks on Sunday. Yes I remember it too but can’t find my poignant remembrance blog post about it. I think it was lost in the blog upgrades but I have it saved somewhere for personal reference. I don’t mean to sound insensitive but the media blowout was over the top this weekend and I avoided television which was a wise choice in hindsight. Contrary to what the pundits say, no I didn’t think the earthquake was a terrorist attack. I thought it was an earthquake or that somebody loaded the freight elevator too much. And while I used to wince when I saw a plane in the sky for a short time, now I just see a plane in the sky. We are resilient – let’s remember but also move forward.

Stinkhorn mushrooms came up in the bark mulch all around my work building this week. The purple stuff in the photo below is fallen crepe myrtle blossoms. The mushroom heads have guk on it that attracts flies, which help spread the mushroom spores. It rained all last week following a long dry summer, so there’s been mushrooms coming up all over the place since nothing really had a chance to decay all summer.
Phallaceae


1. Why hasn’t anyone told me about the Robot Unicorn Attack online game?
2. Game play theme song is ‘Always‘ by Erasure.
3. Also features silver dolphins and plenty of rainbows.

That’s almost too much awesome in one thing for me to handle. I went to see Erasure in concert on Tuesday. They still put on a good show and performed some new material and plenty of favorites, including Oh L’Amour, Blue Savannah, A Little Respect, Chains of Love and Love to Hate You. My voice was hoarse (or unicoarse?) from singing along with Andy so much.

I had just opened my Amazon package containing the following CDs when our historic earthquake hit:
Impossible Princess
Kylie I will never doubt your power again. MY LIFE FOR YOU!*

I was at work in my cubicle when it happened. At first it felt like they were wheeling a morbidly obese person to the nearby elevator on an overloaded dolly. Then I felt queasy from the movement. It took me a few minutes before I realized it was an earthquake. Luckily our cheap office building is made primarily of plastic and it just jiggled like a Jello mold. I’d say they just don’t happen around here, but we had a significant one last year too.

Of course the first thing I did was tweet about it:

“When a 5.9 earthquake hit near Richmond, Virginia, on Tuesday, New York residents read about the quake on Twitter when, 30 seconds later, they felt the quake themselves. “

My roommate was working from home and said the house creaked like an old ship and the aquarium sloshed around. My two goldfish – Louganis and Trig – are fine.

So during my time in DC I’ve experienced two significant earthquakes, back-to-back record summer heat waves and historic snopocalypse. Good times…

*(Triple nerd point bonus if you know this sci-fi reference.)

OK this online debate about Ernie and Bert getting married is getting ridiculous and it’s up to me to be the final word on the controversy. I consider myself an expert on both Muppets and being gay so this is should end the discussion.

“Bert and Ernie are best friends,” Sesame Street producers said in a statement. “Even though they are identified as male characters and possess many human traits and characteristics (as most Sesame Street Muppets do), they remain puppets and do not have a sexual orientation.”

But we’ve been shown time and time again that puppets do indeed have sexual orientations, and so do Muppets.

Kermit and Miss Piggy have had a longtime heterosexual love affair. And heterosexual Muppets – despite being interspecies – do get married. Animal has a long history of love for WOMAN even though his passion often constitutes sexual harassment. And Gonzo has always had a strong preference for as many hens as he can get.

But it’s not always clear that Bert and Ernie are either gay or straight. They definitely have frequent roommate conflicts, but they sleep in different beds. And I’ve never seen them get it on and they rarely show affection for each other. They strike me more as adolescent roommates forced to live with each other for whatever reason. So I’m not convinced they need to get married, but they would certainly qualify for domestic partnerhood due to being longtime roommates.

This whole argument completely overlooks one Muppet pair who warrant far more attention: Statler and Waldorf. They’re totally gay and have probably been together since World War I. If any gay Muppets deserve marriage it’s these two. And all the signs of gayness are there: season ticket holders at Muppet Theatre? Check. Snazzy dressers (often coordinated)? Check. Acerbic wit? Check. They even go on horse-drawn rides in the park together.