November 2009 Archives
Fashion Assistance Alert: I have needed a somewhat formal coat for many winters. My sporty, comfy snowboarding anorak just won't cut it at the Kennedy Center or on a business trip. It's time for me to get a grownup coat. But I want to avoid the boring DC fashion standard black wool pea coat. EVERYBODY has one of those, and the color palette in this town seems to be black, charcoal and grey. 
I used to have an oversize green khaki pea coat (kinda like this but greener) but I thought it looked ridiculous on me and got rid of it I'm open to ideas, especially non-monochrome color options. Since I'm almost continuously overheated, I tend to prefer lighter materials as well. Activate your homo genes and drop your advice in the comments section.
I want to give a shout out to the hot, dapper slim guy in the black leather jacket and nice beard who was at Macy's on Sunday afternoon at about 3:30pm in the men's department. He was carrying his motorcycle helmet and gave me several confirming glances as to his orientation. I think I saw him walking down Swann Street, NW one evening about a month ago. Dreamboat, drop me a line!
If you hadn't heard, our weekly GLBTWhatever newspaper The Washington Blade folded last week after 40 years of reporting on the community. It is sad, but the staff quickly reincarnated into a new publication that admittedly I haven't checked out yet. But I did read the Blade in addition to Metro Weekly every week. Washington's City Paper news weekly wrote a cover story about the purported rivalry between the two publications, which was par for the course for City Paper. CP is always looking for black-and-white rivalries for any given issue, and this story was no exception. Naturally the author constructed a bullshit profile of each publication's readership, replete with ridiculous stereotypes of older and younger gay in the city. Co-publisher Sean Bugg calls the article "terrible," but I'll go so far as to call it "retarded." Comparing the two publications is like apples and oranges. I went to the Blade for good reporting and hard news, and I went to MW for the interesting interviews with our community's leaders and for nightlife information. It's dumb to conjure any kind of rivalry aside from competing for advertising revenue. The content in each publication was distinct.
Fantastic 4's flaming hetero Chris Evans has an even hotter gay brother named Scott. He's a little thicker (and furrier!) than his brother, which is fine by me. But of course I could never say that openly to another gay or they ultimately run away in tears, because if you say a guy is "husky" or "thick" they hear the word "fat."
World AIDS Day is on Tuesday, December 1. The Long View Gallery in Northwest Washington, DC is featuring a series of public health campaign ads for HIV/AIDS support services. The ads span 25 years of safer sex "propaganda," created mostly by ad hoc underground teams since established advertising agencies weren't quite ready to embrace the then-tabboo issue on a corporate level. The exhibit runs through the end of December, and opens tomorrow night from 6-8pm at 1234 9th Street NW DC 20001.
I am currently digging a song by Cheryl Cole called Fight For This Love. 3 Words featuring Will.i.am isn't bad either. Also currently digging this endearing video and cover of the 90's dance hit "Finally."
This weekend there was ANOTHER MetroRail train crash, while the Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority (WMATA) insists on rehiring employees who were fired for texting or talking on their cell phones while on the job. Are you people running a public transportation service or a series of mobile death traps?
Vacation: FAIL. Can we do the past week over again? I did manage to have a nice hike in the Valley of Fire (photos interspersed between rants and rambling paragraphs) with some teammates on Friday, and later that night a few of us enjoyed the LE RÊVE aquatic spectacular at the Wynn Las Vegas, but when I returned to my hotel after the show I got hit with a bad case of the chills, followed by alternating fever and cold sweats for the rest of the evening. Skip the Evil Veterinarian thinks it was food poisoning, but the congestion in my head and full-body soreness makes me think it was the flu that had me in bed all day Saturday. So I missed the match that we had all gone there to do, which they won without me.
Thankfully I was rested up enough to travel back in moderate health by Sunday, but managed to leave my wallet somewhere at the Denver Airport. It still hasn't turned up but at least nothing was charged on my cards. I'm now in the process of replacing everything that was in the wallet, including my work/government credit card, the lack of which has complicated planning for an upcoming work trip to Kansas City. So it's been a crappy week.
Having had the flu on vacation reminded me that the states I traveled through were both featured as the final battlegrounds in Stephen King's 'The Stand'. Anyway, we stayed in the craptastic (but affordable) Tropicana, which I don't recommend at least until they complete their renovations and temporal updates to pull their building out of the late '60s. The hotel currently hosts Wayne Newton and 'Let's Make a Deal' weekly filming.
My thoughts on Vegas are that it is an amazing place and the main strip is a marketing wonder of the world designed to suck every penny out of your pocket. That's not necessarily a bad thing, and if you like gambling it's a fun place. But I simply don't get gambling. I tried slots and Blackjack but I still don't get it. Why aren't these gambling people satisfied playing World of Warcraft? I'm just not designed for Vegas, but I did like the climate. The breeders on the team had a great time though, as I believe Vegas is the heterosexual capitol of the world. Here is a photo of several aforementioned heterosexuals, and one homosexual. Can you spot the homo?
I must highlight my super-homotastic skills of observation at the LE RÊVE show, where I noticed the appearance of a character during the performance who just didn't seem to fit into the obtuse storyline. I said to my neighbors "OMG that's Kelly Ripa!" and they all nodded their heads to keep me quiet. "Calm yourself, excitable homo," they probably thought to themselves. But when I got home I did a little research and found out that she was in Vegas filming a few Regis and Kelly episodes that weekend, and Kelly had indeed made a cameo at the show. Do not doubt the ultra-keen combination of my laser-enhanced vision and entertainment knowledge ever again!
The trailer for Real World DC is out. I hate myself for wanting to watch some of it.
We had quite the gayla this week at the White House, and everyone is aware that David Geffen's 24 year-old boyfriend is kinda hot. But when can we stop calling Gayle King "Oprah's Best Friend"?
From BooBob: Austin based singer/songwriter Bob Schneider is this week's Hot Bearded Talented Guy of the Week:
Is there lust after Favre? Apparently so in Aaron Rodgers, who is much more of a facial hair chameleon than that other guy ever was.
Bear and nerd hygene: brush your teeth like a Spartan & get geeky-clean with some d20 designer soap.
Two excellent covers this week, a very sweet twist on Cece Peniston's 'Finally', and an incredible 'Muppet cover of Bohemian Rhapsody'. My favorite part is Janice's kick ass guitar solo.
Urban "foodies" are now making hunting hip. I think it's more of the gun being a hipster accessory than anything. But whatever it takes to get people to appreciate the outdoors and our connection with nature.
Wednesday Woof Rerun: Washington Capitals' Brooks Laich and a buncha hot rugby players. Some of the above photos were taken by San Diego Dan, who has a new batch of nice photos to share, this time alternating photos of bodybuilders and zoo animals. Here's one of my favorites from San Diego Dan:
On Thursday I will travel to Las Vegas with the rugby team where we will play the Sin City Irish in a friendly rugby match to top off the season. It should be fun, and the day before the match I'll be hiking with some of my chill laid-back masc str8 buds in the nearby Valley of Fire. And to balance it all later that evening me and The Gays will go out to experience the aquatic spectacular LE RÊVE.
Friends in photos: Skwurl playin' Ultimate frisbee with his naturally masculine, chill laid-back buds, and Josh's 'stache progress.
You can donate to Josh at the link provided and try to bribe him to keep it in the name of prostate cancer research. I have been trying for years to get him to keep wearing his 'stache to no avail. Perhaps a donation will help.
To the left is a video about a 'stached Speedo and chain-wallet guy. Somewhat safe for work.
All of the above links should keep you busy while I'm gone, right?
"No. Not now. Not ever. Do you hear me? I will use every cannon, every bomb, every bullet, every weapon I have down to my own eye teeth to end you! I swear it! I'm coming for all of you!!!" - President Laura Roslin
No more Mr. Nice Gay in DC - activist Phil Attey channels Colonial President Laura Roslin with the new outing tool ChurchOuting.org. It's in response to another attack from the Catholic Church, this time they threaten to withdraw support for sheltering and the homeless in The District of Columbia. In other words, the Catholic Church in DC would rather hate on the gays than do Jesus-like activities such as feeding hungry people.
I really, really don't get it. Can't they see it makes them look really un-Christian? Anyway, there are bound to be closeted self-loathing homos in any Catholic heirarchy, otherwise they wouldn't be attacking the gays so vehemently. In general, emotionally secure straight people have other things to do than to go after homos. So Phil is taking a wise step and going after these fucktards. There may be somewhat open gays embedded in there too, but they have been far too quiet. It's time to strike back at this institution and tear down the hypocrites who have nothing better to do than to hate on that which they secretly admire, but openly loathe.
I have committed to going to Provincetown for a week in August with Dreamy Ron again. It should be a fun time. The last time I went there I met lots of nice people, as it seems easier to meet people when I'm on vacation - even if they're from the same city. In one instance there was a gay couple who lived on my block who couldn't even give me a simple nod as they walked their dogs by me, but when I met them in Provincetown I couldn't get them to stop talking. I don't get it...why do you need to be less social in your home environment, but then act in such a friendly way only while on vacation? My problem is that I assume the latter should be the norm, and it isn't in DC which drives me nuts. I'm naturally friendly but my outgoing nature isn't often met with warmth in this city.
Scott raised a good question in the comments section of my last frank post:
"Do you ever worry that your employer or future employer will see posts like this? I'm asking because I do, which causes more self-censorship than I care to admit on my own blog."
Perhaps our employers are different, and it depends on the workplace environment. Or our assumptions about what they think about what you wrote. I know a few of my coworkers might check in on the blog here or there, or perhaps none of them care at all. Granted, a blogger should ALWAYS assume a coworker, teammate, friend or family member will read it. I guess it just depends on how you think coworkers will take it. It's always a gamble.
I think the question is if I am worried I'm going to be Dooced or not. I have learned a few lessons during my time blogging for many years, and here are a few suggestions and rules of thumb for those of you who still blog and worry about what would happen if the others found out:
- Don't blog from work, during work hours.
- Don't ever mention what you do for work or where you work.
- Don't speak ill of your friends, family, teammates or coworkers.
- Unless you blog anonymously, don't recount dating horror stories (or successes for that matter).
- Avoid blogging after you've had too much coffee.
- Assume they will find your blog no matter what.
There are a lot of things I blog about, but there are also many subjects I am careful to not write about. Despite these limitations there is still a lot I can write about, and that is the challenge that can make a blogger a better writer. Everyone has limits on what they can write about, and increased limitations will actually help you write better. I see these topic limitations as challenges where I can show a different angle on an issue I thought was originally uninteresting.
So in the spirit of not speaking ill of my friends or teammates, I had a nice rugby-filled weekend. All the rain last week made for a very muddy Saturday match that we won, which we topped it off with a friendly b-side match. On Sunday I picked up my high school buddy Tina from the airport and took her out to the New Zealand Ambassador's Shield matches, which we both enjoyed. In the photo below, the ones in white are our local MARFU all-stars, and the ones in dark jerseys are from New Zealand:
Seated in the foreground is Skip the Evil Veterinarian. He knows he's evil so I'm not speaking ill of him. Anyway, with the sun finally out after such a long absence it made for a great day outside.
It's been so long since I've gotten any, I'm starting to perceive relatively smooth swimmers as "woofy."
But desperation is never pretty, so admitting this won't help my condition. Ooops, too late. That said I'll have to note Manhunt doesn't necessarily improve your chances of getting laid. I honestly believe some of those guys are actually being honest when they say they are "just looking" on their profile. In addition, there's simply a tragic, tragic majority in DC who are heavily shorn. DC is possibly the most clean-cut city in our nation, and thus is a purgatory of sorts for me. It's a hairless hell - a wasteland of depiliated flesh. It's really hard to find good fur in this town.
And during rugby season my standards for fitness in partners goes way up. Granted, most guys in DC are in pretty good shape, but once you start getting on in years up to my age, the percentage of fit guys aged 38 starts to go down. I'm not saying a guy needs to be a triathelete, but a some regular activity would do some people some good. I stuff my head up into the crotches of hot, sweaty, muscular rugby players at least three times a week, and it's hard to find anything comparable to that in a partner. Anyway, maybe I'll have to lower my standards and date Michael Phelps, even if he is kinda smooth.
Other than that I've been reviewing the book Feeling Good: the New Mood Therapy, by David D. Burns, M.D. lately in preparation for our gloomy winter that is already here. If any of you have gone to the doctor for depression or have been to the shrink for anger issues, you've probably been prescribed this book. It is frequently offered in lieu of depression medications. Having tried said pharmaceuticals, I recommend you try the non-pharma options first. I'm also trying TJ's suggestion of vitamin D in addition to trying to get outside during lunch hour for some natural light at least once a day.
Basically the book teaches you how to counter patterns of negative thought with rational rebuttals. We all have a voice in our head that tells us things, but sometimes this voice is wrong, particularly with anger, self-doubt and depression. I think the technique works and it's helped to review some of the chapters, particularly related to anger management and loneliness.
But a date with Michael Phelps sure would help a lot too. He's sooo dreamy...
You may have noticed a few changes lately on this here blog, like the vision of a spectral Lady GaGa glaring at you from the masthead banner, and things like that. I'm not necessarily a huge GaGa fan, I just thought her look that weekend of the Equality March at the 9:30 Club was kind of spooky and I wanted that image on my banner. I think the rugby images are getting old, I need some new ones to scroll at random like they do.
- I added recent Twitter posts to the right sidebar just below the links. Yeah, some of you may have gotten lazy and moved completely over to posting only on Twitter and Facebook, but I'm still keepin' it real on this here blog and showing the Twitter posts.
- I updated the blogroll to the right. I tried to add all that I could remember, others who I follow on Twitter often, and those who post significant bodies of work. If you haven't posted anything in 6 months, you're out like Heidi Klum's trash.
- I removed the "Dead Blogs" options because many of them simply disappeared off the 'net. Not even the archives remain. We will miss you, oh blogs of our nerdy ancestors.
This weekend we're playin' rugby way the hell out in Winchester, somewhere in Virginiastan. I'll watch out for the roaming packs of teabaggers and frothy Republican bottoms.
I slammed open the door with enough force to make it hit the wall with a loud bang. At first I didn't know where this anger came from, so quickly out of nowhere. But then I remember the other times when I've felt this way where I've felt angry at everything. It's always on the morning after a bunch of people vote to take away, or ensure another group's human dignity is denied.
Stronger voices might tell us that we can persevere and things will change for the better some day because time is on our side. My rational side understands that, but the toll on the subconscious is deep. For me it's expressed as anger like pus from an infected wound. But at least the feeling is released in my case. I am convinced not everyone is able to respond with an anger outlet like me - some people may simply internalize and resign, and the toll on their psyche is brutal. These are the people who commit suicide, fall into deep chasms of depression, or dive into addiction. I am thankful I only want to hit something, and I have healthy outlets to do that too.
The fact is a bunch of people are working as hard as they can to make sure we're not treated like them. Knowing that hurts a lot. Some of them would prefer we went away forever. And a whole mess of other people are smugly satisfied with what they have and don't give a shit about anyone else. In many ways I believe we are on our own in this fight.
Of course I know that their hatred is evil, but it's only one of many evils perpetrated by them. I'd say there's a special place reserved in Hell for them, but I think I'm going to give up on organized religion and all its fake mythy constructs altogether. Believing in Hell only legitimizes haters and their churches. These constructs allow for hateful people to impose their bigotry on other people. The Catholic church took a very active role in making sure married gay couples in Maine were stripped of their unions. For some of these couples it was the happiest day of their life, and the Catholic church helped to take that happiness away. That is an evil act.
And in California, the Mormons made sure married gay Californians were treated as subhuman. As far as I'm concerned these evils outweigh any good organized religion might do. To me, their view of religion seems to be as a tool for which they can impose their will on others. Some of you long-time atheists will say, "Well it's about time you figured that out!"
I guess I was giving the hater religions one last chance to pull back and do some actual good in this world, like feeding starving children, healing the sick, or making sure people are clothed for the winter. Nope, hatin' on the gays has top priority with these religious institutions. For many of them, it's the most important issue they have on their agenda.
What is really sad is some of these anti-gay leaders are just doing what they do to gain followers or pull in more money for their church or organization. Deep down inside they may actually not even be that hateful, but they know a useful tool for fundraising when they see one, and it doesn't matter if it's at the expense of another group of people. That's nastier than simply hating due to ignorance. These people are pretending to hate for personal gain. Now that is evil. I guess this counts as the evil of Greed.
The other evil is when one group isn't connecting the struggle for their group's equal rights to another group. As far as they are concerned, they have what they need and to hell with the struggles of another group. It doesn't make any sense to me, but these people refuse to perceive any comparisons from one movement to another. In fact many of them are offended that their movement is being compared to ours. Philosophically we're not exactly the same, but there are similarities, parallels and comparisons that can be drawn. But like I said, I think we're on our own and efforts to try for some kind of philosophical bridge may be pointless. It's clear that if someone wants to hate, they will hate no matter how similar the hatred they spew is like that which was spewed on them in the not too distant past. This is the evil of Antipathy, as opposed empathy or sympathy.
Then there's the evil of Waste - a waste of time, effort and money on something so stupid as fighting against happiness. Millions of dollars are spent by both sides on public information campaigns, both for and against. Let's say you added up all the money spent on campaigns, salaries and overhead both for and against gay marriage. Millions of dollars. What else could we have spent that money on? It just boggles my mind to think of all the actual good you could do with that much money, time and energy. That's probably the most tragic loss with all of this - people are dying out there, but some people feel it's more important to legally impose hate rather than save human lives in this world.
Halloween weekend was fun, but the ever-present rain kept a lot of activities indoors. It's been raining every weekend for the past three weekends, I've had it! Anyway, the Miss Adams Morgan pageant didn't disappoint, but I didn't put my costume on because it was frikkin' hot in there. Have you ever noticed Halloween costumes are usually warm and don't breathe well? I guess they'd be our normal outfits if they were comfortable...
To balance all that drag, I went over to the rugby team's Halloween party and eventually got into costume. Obi-Wan Kenobi was a hit, although many had opted to go as part of Tolkien's Fellowship. Damn, wrong genre, maybe I'll get it right next time.
Again, rumors of the death of gay culture are overstated. Magazines are dying and being reborn every day, and the loss of The Advocate doesn't mean we won't see a spewing of more journalistic garbage in the future. I can't begin to run off all the titles, but bad writing can't even kill the magazine industry. As long as somebody needs something to read on the ferry to The Pines, there will always be gay rags. While we are integrating somewhat, we will still always need to occasionally gather and identify.
About a year ago this week I was in the panhandle of Florida, role-playing animal disease outbreaks and exploring swamps, sinks, rises and runs. I had some good times at Wakulla with the manatees too. This year work is sending me to Kansas City in December. My supervisor who is from there will kill me if I do not go to certain barbecue joints, but that's about all I'm adding to the work schedule. I know from experience the Midwest is far from wondrous that time of year.
But as I discovered last year on my November trip to Dublin, a late fall or early winter trip really eases the winter blahs, and seems to make the gloomy days in DC go by faster. This year I'll be going to Las Vegas with the rugby team for our final match of the year. I'm not much of a gambler but I'll make the best of it I'm sure.
