December 2007 Archives

Today I got some color on my face while finishing walking chores around the city. I saw Bob at the post office. While the weather wasn't that warm, at least it was sunny. But after a mere two hours I was tuckered out as I've been brought low by a cold. The trip to the mall for some very late Christmas shopping will have to wait until tomorrow.

On Christmas morn the stormtroopers of mirth upstairs were at it at a wee hour, marching and yelping like orcs at the The Bridge of Khazad-dûm. There is no rest for the gays on the holidays, it seems. I responded in kind by immolating my cajun cornbread to a crisp. The stink did not silence the Whos from the gay district of Whoville as they played the techno version of "Dahoo Doray" over and over again for the rest of the afternoon.

We are fast approaching the one-year anniversary of the smoking ban in The District. Did anyone notice? Exactly...I daresay that there are even fewer of the outsiders smoking at the doors of bars and restaurants as perhaps they've abated. I have no complaints about the ban whatsoever. Contrary to what Chicken Little Lee was chirping, the sky has not fallen, and has in fact improved in air quality, and U Street is still rockin'. The Smokefree DC website is still up and wants to hear your comments.

RE: Dakota Cowgirl / Titan's Ramrod - the owner sold the place, purportedly to the owners of Duplex Diner. The doors are closed at the moment. No promise of a gay bar replacement or continuation of Woof, fingering or big fat burgers.

Speaking of Woof, half of them were up in Baltimore for the annual X-Mas eve orphans bear party at Rob and Pat's. It was a good time with a tremendous amount of good food and friendly "GRRRRRS!" all around. Here are some hot pictures of myself and all the other bears.

Today on MySpace I received messages from Dannae, Kandace, Stacee, Gerianna, Tiphani, Lauran, Joelle, Martita, Almeda, Rosette, Catina, Stepha, Anneliese, Leanna, Cassey and 64 other lovely ladies. Is there a gay SPAM filter on that thing? If it wasn't for the fact that I'm friends with lots of famous people with 3 words in their names like Richard Dean Anderson, Lucy Wainwright ROCHE, and Paul S. Kemp, (author of the Erevis Cale Forgotten Realms pulp novels) I'd have cancelled the account by now.

Our twisted nativity scene upstairs in Whoville, compliments of Jeff. Wherein Corrupted minions (left) of the Talontar Blightlords advance against an incursion from the Underdark (right). Naturally, the halflings are caught in the middle:

Tomorrow is my birthday. I will be 37. I don't plan on making a big deal about it - 37 is kind of mundane in my opinion.

Friday night I went to see Rufus Wainwright whose sister Lucy Wainwright Roche opened with some folksy numbers. Rufus was flawless as usual and I'm always impressed by his musicality. But I can see how his often-nasal voice can turn some fans off. Anyway, the 9:30 Club is always a good time, no matter what's going on there. The next fun thing will be Blowoff on January 26th - not quite during MAL weekend, but closer to Skwurl's birthday, and the 5th(?) anniversary for Blowoff, I believe.

Who subscrubed me to Instinct Magazine? I got my first issue in the mail today. Maybe it was a sample issue.

Dakota Cowgirl / Titan's Ramrod closed its doors Saturday with one last Friday night Woof venue. No more fingerings without a "hello" anymore. It was our home bar for post-practice and post-match 3rd half celebrations for many years, and we may have to relocate, depending on the new owner's whim. Nellie's sports bar is an obvious choice, but somewhat far to stroll over to after our Tuesday and Thursday night practices at 16th/17th & P. Plus I'm not sure that bar is ready for 40 dirty, sweaty, hungry, smelly actual athletes to take over a floor every Thursday night and Saturday afternoon - or are they?

Being on a mixed gay/straight team is always interesting, and the straight guys are far more perceptive than the 'mos suspect, which helps prevent embarrassing situations on both sides. The gay boys chatter about which new guy is gay or straight, which is responded in kind with the straight guys making sure the questioning 'mos are well-informed. The system seems to work out well, and it's obvious who's talking with whom when I start up a conversation with one guy who makes sure he succintly injects mention of 'MY GIRLFRIEND' into every sentence of our conversation. OK, I get it. Still, there was one guy I thought was gay for a whole year or two and only found out he was straight at the recent holiday party. The lesson here is: gaydar is not 100% reliable, and when in doubt, just ask.

While going to holiday parties and having grown out my beard this time of year, at least one person at a holiday party points out that I look like young Kris Kringle from the claymation special "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town." I suppose it could be worse:

I'm not offended with the comparison.

Work is a ghost town, and so is DC. Aaaah. I like it this way. And I think I'm having a happy holiday because I made a deliberate effort to pull back from all the expectations. No pressure, no stress. I watch as others drive by with an "OMGOMGOMG!!!" look on their faces while I do not.

I'm going to see Rufus Wainwright tonight at the 9:30 Club with SuperStarBrettie. It should be fun.

Spice Up Your Life with ginger man present from Jocko.

He who composed Mah na mah na - Piero Umiliani, from Stebbins.

A chef with an awesome name makes a giant gingerbread house in Annapolis.

Furry Happy Monsters - REM & muppet monster chorus & muppet Kate Pierson.

Me, 3rd Grade, December 1978? Toy Soldier at Christmas program:

• Hannah Montana
• "OMG" & "lol"
• 1969-1978
• Rachel Ray
• Anything screen-printed
• Photos on Flickr of your Wii party
• Ginch-Gonch
• Zac Efron
• Temperatures above 90
• Baby Polar, Panda Bears

I shouldn't have to even have to mention: The entire Spears, Hilton, Lohan and Wu-Tang Clans; Crocs; flip-flops in December; fake blogs; "brilliant," "masc," "musc," "mil;" semicolon abuse; Realtors; Late Night Shots; that Motorola sound; photos of your puckering butthole; John Basedow; dealing crystal meth; retarded neighborhood commissions; collapsing houses; shoes in trees.

I witnessed an electromagnetic phenomena on my commute home this evening:

While I was travelling southbound on the Green Line from the College Park Metrorail station en route to the Shaw/Howard station, I noticed something moving on the floor between the doors in the very center of the car. It was a dancing paperclip. Every time the train accelerated, one end of the paperclip would rise, then fall as the train reached peak velocity or slowed. I'm assuming there's an electromagnetic field just below the very center of the train car, possibly due to the spinning axle of the train. Put a paperclip where I show Clippy in the photo and see if it works for you. I'm totally not bullshitting you on this.

Today we had our holiday staff party, and I won this strange device that reminded me of Barbarella's ray-gun:

It appears to be some kind of fancy Jetsons screwdriver, with interchangeable heads cleverly set in the barrel and grip of the gun. Fitz is burning with envy.

My brother lives in an RV, which broke down in Tijuana during his annual holiday surfing trip. There could be worse places to break down:

OMG the Spice Girls will indeed be coming to DC on February 21. Looks like I'll have to save up my pennies before then.

This morning me and Michael participated in the The 108th Audubon Society Christmas Bird Count, Anacostia Sector of DC. 7am on a Saturday is early for me, but we managed to be the ones who spotted the only merlin (a type of falcon) and hooded mergansers in our sector. Here, Bryan is freezing and we haven't even started:

We were assigned to a portion of Langston Golf Course* from Benning Rd. bridge to about 1 mile upstream on arm of Anacostia River. Just off of the golf course was the evil tree who eats children, from the film 'Poltergeist':

I think it was the 64th annual count for our region. Sadly, my camera ran out of gas before I could take any more pictures, but there were lots of festive berries to be seen:

We spent 1 1/2 hours (7:30pm to 9pm), ranging about 1 mile along the length of the golf course adjacent to the Anacostia River. Our count included:

Canada Goose 144
Mallard 38
Hooded Merganser 6
Great Blue Heron 2
Merlin (female, spotted in the air at 8:08am, brown speckled belly, def. smaller than a peregrine falcon and more drab than a kestrel)
Gull, sp. 28
Rock Pigeon 1
Blue Jay 1
Crow, sp. 4
Brown Creeper 1
Ruby-crowned kinglet 1 (female)
American Robin 27
Northern Mockingbird 1
European Starling 12
Song Sparrow 1
Northern Cardinal 4

* I learned today that the Langston Golf Course is on the Register of Historic Places due to its history as the home course of the Royal Golf Club and the Wake Robin Golf Club, the nation’s first clubs for Black men and women, respectively. It provides an interesting view of RFK Stadium and the D.C. Armory, in addition to being a great place to spot wildlife and man-eating trees.

"The Mist" first appeared as a short story in Stephen King's 1985 book Skeleton Crew. When I saw the previews for the film adaptation this summer I was giddy with glee. And last night I was not let down. It was a near-perfect projection from prose to film. This story is not the same as The Fog - there are no drowned sailor hauntings, instead there are otherworldly Lovecraftian horrors from beyond who force ordinary people into extraordinary situations: eventually, the monsters inside the supermarket become more frightening then the creatures outside the store.

I thought the release of the movie during this particular fear-mongering administration and evangelical religious extremism was particularly poignant, and during one dialogue they all but scream out how easily people are manipulated by fear. Eventually a handful of sensible people inside the the supermarket prefer to take their chances outside in the mist with the tentacled, clawed, web-shooting horrors outside. If you read the short story and liked it, you're gonna love the movie.

Completely unrelated yet interesting: time-lapse photography of the removal of a stranded sailboat from Lake Michigan.

An article in this week's DC's City Paper about raccoons and rabies.

Stocking stuffer ideas: Rufus Does Judy At Carnegie Hall; Raising Sand by Robert Plant and Alison Krauss, It Won't Be Soon Before Long by Maroon 5, & Red Carpet Massacre by Duran Duran. I'm eclectic this year.

I can't get enough of Ben Cohen's scruff:

Originally from here.

Where exactly does the extra money people are expecting from me this time of year come from? I'm just sayin'...with all these donation drives and charity drives this time of year in addition to buying presents leaves me too broke to do anything over the holidays. Happy frikkin' holidays, I'm broke. I am supposed to shop but don't have the money for it. Nice combo.

I refuse to go deeper into credit card debt just for that warm holiday feeling. I will stay within my budget.

By the way I need a new iPod Nano for Christmas...

Jesus is coming for your soul. Does that idea frighten anyone?

Wendy & Lisa: The Closing Of The Year from the Toys motion picture soundtrack.

Kate Bush: December Will Be Magic Again - Snowtime Special

Gwen Stefani + Wendy & Lisa: The Real Thing a little a cappella version

Mr. Bartender and his Big Bad Woof are leaving us - here's me pursing lips and sinking ships with TJ at Remington's last week. Casey, over my shoulder to my right, is lookin' smokin' hot:


Socialist realism propaganda posters for Battlestar Galactica troop recruitment. I love it.

Another blog bites the dust. Goddammit, Carl! And yet fake blogs are still on the rise. Darin exposes yet again the multiple layers of deceit weaved by someone who delights in deceiving people through his fake, made-up blog(s). I've been through this crap already, yet the guy persists even though he's been long-busted. Sad, weird stuff - I don't know what drives this person to use other people's names, photos, and identities to continue to maintain his various personae, but it's always kinda sick.

All of this has happened before, all of it will happen again, so say we all. The skinjob Cylon will be exposed, sooner or later.

Vintage noir rough trade, California prison style:

Matthew Foxxy-Foxx as Racer X in the upcoming live-action adaptation of Speed Racer. He is not scruffy in this role, sadly. But the movie looks interesting as Speed Racer will be played by my new favorite, Emile Hirsch, with his parents played by Susan Sarandon and John Goodman. Interesting casting.

After clearing my desk on Friday I thought it was time to leave the city, if only for 24 hours, so I headed up to NYC to do a drive-by of all the holiday decor and madness, then to Blowoff that evening. But I was so worn out from the trip and tour I left before Cyndi Lauper stopped by for a visit. At least I got to see Eric before I left somewhere after 1am or so.Stephen gave me a nice walkabout of midtown Manhattan, including Grand Central Station:

I looked up at one point as the sun was setting and there was the Empire State Building:

Stephen and Rex had some holiday shopping to do, but I was not able to find holiday designer Command Strips to help them solve their mantle/stocking issue:

We weren't in Rockefeller Plaza for long, and I was unwilling to fight the crowd to get any closer than this:

It was a fun trip but man, I am beat.

I had my camera with me tonight while I was doing some chores in the 14th & U Street areas, NW D.C.

Best DC Supermarket on U - the poodle was very friendly and sat still for the photo:


Spa on U and 15th Streets:


14th & U Cafe:


The Lincoln Theatre:


Not to be left out, Ben's Chili Bowl, heartburn central:

It's gonna snow this winter - I can smell it in the air and feel it in me bones. And no matter how many times the local residents (natives and newcomers alike) have experienced snowfall, it's still a panic situation every year. Last night high winds prevented one driver from seeing me as I crossed the crosswalk and I was almost run over. When it snows drivers are somehow unable to think nor see a red traffic light or stop sign. I know it's icy, but please...you pump the brakes lightly as you approach the intersection for a controlled deceleration. Otherwise do us all a favor and don't drive.

Here's my tips for DC residents during inclement weather:

Stay Home: recent miraculous innovations in technology have enabled a not-so-new modern convenience called telecommuting. I know the concept hasn't taken off as well as it should have, but if you expect it to snow you can discuss it beforehand with your boss, and plan on taking some things to do home with you the day before. You'll be just as productive as if you had driven two-hours one way and spent the day worrying about the snow and looking out the window. If your boss won't approve it s/he's a deck and you should then call in sick. Again, do us all a favor and stay off the roads - y'all can't drive in the snow around here.

Don't Panic: you don't have to drive and you don't have to go to work. If you are not at work for a day the world will continue to spin, and you won't ever get an award badge for being a trooper and risking your life just to put in the good show. Stay home and bake cookies, take long walks in the snow, or just hang around the house in your jammies.

Dress For Success: high heels, flip-flops or Crocs just won't cut it in the slush or snow. Tennis shoes are slippery and your toes get wet. Wear hiking boots. You might have to wear thermal underwear. If you're wearing scant hootchie mama/papa clothing please do not ask the building manager to crank up the heat to 90-degrees. Some of us are are wearing sweaters and flannel. Think of cold weather as an opportunity to accessorize and expand your wardrobe.

Shovel, Bitches: if you shovel the snow during the snowfall or immediately after, it won't turn into ice. If you shovel while it snows it won't be so heavy later on. Ice sprinkled over 4" of snow will not melt the snow. Shoveling a two-foot path down the sidewalk won't help as that aisle will turn icy later as well. Shovel your entire sidewalk, it's that simple - the city won't do it for you. Also don't forget to warm up your back before you start shoveling. It will save you a lot of agony afterwards.

I suppose the hyped up weather reports on the local news, and local workaholism is to blame for a lot of the above problems, but still.

UPDATE: Why did I come to work today? Why don't I practice what I preach? I came to work while it was snowing and sure enough everyone is here partying in the hallways discussing the horrors of snow. I shoulda stayed home like I said everyone else should...

Here's me and Lara out on the Steppe in Kazakstan back in 1997 or so:

It was well below freezing every day in December, shockingly cold even for me.

Tonight I went to see Into The Wild - it's still showing at the DuPont Circle miniplex. I was surprised at what a good film it was and hope it gets at least an Oscar nod. I had read the book and the articles in Outside magazine, and was expecting the film to be a biography with a morbid ending. It was sad at the end, but the film also has a good message and was very well done - and long!

The funk is much better today after having slept in this morning. Last night I went to Town Danceboutique with Skwurl. The crowd is so young on Friday nights that even Skwurl felt old. Skwurl's got a thing for the disco light technician because I think he's into guys with a big GUI. I was shown the screen for the light show and it was quite impressive.

Town is a nice space, and on the first floor they were playing what the kids call "retro" these days, which was what was playing in the clubs when I came out. Skwurl ran away when I started to sing along with the lyrics to "Dance All Night" by DeBarge. Upstairs I got to see a quick live number by my favorite DC urban dance troupe X-Factor, which sadly does not have its own web page to link to. They occasionally performed at Nation and came along to Town when they started. I secretly harbor much glee when I see them perform. They're very energetic and fun.

This afternoon I met up with Miss In Shaw for some coffee and a bit to eat at the Big Bear Cafe. I think the cops in Shaw are sick of 7-Eleven coffee as several cars came up for some brew. I regretted not bringing my camera because one of the cops was actually 'woofy' as I explained to Mari. She's currently at the 202 coursework level in a privately tutored gay studies course...she's doing well so far. Anyway, DC doesn't have the hottest cops in the nation, but 3 out of 4 of the cops that showed up today were hot. It's nice to see hot cops in Shaw.

A high school friend notified me that one of my classmates was on a Today Show (Pictured 2nd from left in the back row) segment about a doctor in my hometown who delivered four sets of twins in 24 hours at the Gundersen Lutheran Hospital.

And further west in Utah, a boy pierces his brain with a deer antler.

I have again agreed to participate in the annual Christmas Bird Count coordinated by the National Audubon Society and local birdwatchers across the nation:

Each local count must cover a 15-mile diameter circle and be conducted within a single day. Teams of birders cover different parts of that, count all the bird species and individuals, and then report results to the count compiler.

While it's awful cold at 7am in the morning, birding is acutally easier in the winter as the seasonal residents are easier to spot. There is a summer count as well. One year my team spotted an American Bittern at the Kennilworth Aquatic Gardens in Anacostia. I'll be at that location again this year, I just have to find a means to get there at that hour.

For more summer memories, here are some photos I took at the Kennilworth Aquatic Gardens in DC at warmer times:

Me by the strange alien lillies:

A Great Blue Heron:

The gardens have many beautiful varieties of water lotus to see:

OMG Tos was a VIP guest a few weeks ago at the opening of Town.