The Return of the Skwurl
Last night we celebrated Skwurl's return from months of masc/musc/mil training by going to a very nice Korean restaurant called Mandu near where Lauriol Plaza used to be, across from the gas station at 18th and R, NW. The host/chef/bartender looked like a smaller version of Matthew Fox, replete with nice scruff and tatts. I am currently scheduled for a pit duel with Seanshow over the ultimate right to flirt with this employee of Mandu. I had a yummy rice bowl and ate lots of kimchi, which made my pee smell bad and gave me gas.
On that note, I recently learned that there is a new drug on the streets called 'Jenkem', also known as Winnie, Shit, Runners, Leroy Jenkems, Might, Butthash, and Waste. It is made from poop and pee and is becoming popular in the U.S. When I first heard about it I couldn't believe people were doing hits of poop, but it's true.
The introduction of Jenkem into the 'hood might solve a lot of problems in Shaw. First off, people would probably start collecting the bags of poop that dog-walkers leave in my garbage cans that I really don't want to deal with*. Please stop leaving bags of poop in my garbage can, thanks. Anyway, the gang problem would decrease because the demand for their product would drop since people can make Jenkem at home. And poop is a renewable resource, so people would be going Green! Or yellow and brown in this instance.
But I think Shaw is more high-class than that. Around these parts do PCP, heroin and of course crack, which as Whitney said is for poor people. But I don't think we do hits of poop here in Shaw. We're made of prouder stuff.
Anyway, back to squirrels and other varmints: the other night I saw an opossum in somebody's back yard. When you first see a possum from behind, it's naked tail makes you think it's a gigantic grey rat, which causes a bit of a fright. But it was a young possum and stared at me. Squirrels are eating my pumpkin. There is a very good urban varmint infographic guide in the Home section of today's Washington Post.
In my hometown some little kid found a wooly mammoth tooth. It is the second time the same kid has found a wooly mammoth tooth, this time while he was "...chasing squirrels ". COINCIDENCE?! I think not.
*Dear presumptive dog-walkers: I love dogs, I really do, and I commend you for walking your dog, but don't leave your goddamn poop in my garbage can. Throw it away in a public trash receptacle, not in my garbage can, thanks.
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Jimbo, if you ever catch me sniffing fermented poop, you are given permission to call the exterminator and have me put down.
Yay me! Welcome home!
You're talking about shit again.
1) I love kimchi, but I didn't realize it makes one's pee smell. Maybe it's like asparagus...only a certainly percentage of the population have the scent receptors that actually smell the chemical that causes the stink.
2) Tell me no! (poo drug)
Jimbo, as a dog-owner/walker who tries to do the right thing and scoop the poop (even when I'd prefer to be busy being tough with the scruff) - what's the prob when my pup's bagged poop ends up in your trash can? In the end, that can is part of a public service (removal/disposal of household waste), financed just the same as the "public" trash cans, and ending up in the same place - isn't it?
Chris: The problem may be a DC thing. When the trash people come to pick up our garbage, they first empty the cans by hand and place them closer to the driving lane. They do not pick out the bags of poop, or any other items that are not bagged in a trash bag. So the bag of poop is left in the garbage can for me to pick out, and place in a garbage bag. So I end up dealing with someone else's hastily bagged poop, which is likely at that point to be leaking, broken, or otherwise oozing on my hands. The public garbage receptacles are emptied in a different way. Best to take your poop and take it to your own garbage where you can fully take care of it. Placing it in other people's cans makes it someone else's mess to clean up, primarily mine.