Shaw: a bit Easterly of where one should go
The other day I was messaging someone on Friendster, and after I mentioned where I live, I got this response:
"...4th and T is a bit Easterly of where I go usually. Nice over here?"
Yes, it's nice, you fucking douche bag. My neighbor is Mad Max and he lives in a rowhouse next door with Auntie Entity and MasterBlaster. When I'm not dodging bullets or parrying knife thrusts, I'm sweeping a half-inch dusting of dime bags off my front sidewalk. Gangs drive down the sidewalk in modified baja vehicles equipped with flamethrowers on top, immolating everything and everyone in their path.
The snobbery inherent in the guy's comment is not new - when I lived at 15th and Swann back in '99, many queens would not go east of 16th. And when I was at 5th and T I might as well have been living in Chernobyl.
But lemme tell ya, bitches, Shaw is where it's at - for now at least. Puh-leez...17th Street was over and tired many years ago. Unless you enjoy getting your toes run over by baby strollers. The 14th and U area is also nice if you like living next door to completely unhip and mentally retarded Republican appointees (who still earns 5X what you do by virtue of being retarded because retarded is cool in that group).
Anyway, Shaw is teeming with hot homos. I haven't seen this much prancing up and down the street since...well I don't remember when. We have already identified several neighborhood hotties:
- Mowhawk Hottie - puts over the Rough Trade look very well. Sean is aswoon and has dibs on Mowhawk Hottie.
- Shirtless Hottie Walking Black Dachshund - Never passes up on an opportunity to walk his dog sans shirt. We'll give that one to Skwurl.
- Goatee Guy Walking Shaggy Black Lab: I'll take this one - haven't figured out where he lives though.
Anyway, the previously mentioned snob can stay safely at home west of 14th street when we rock the 'hood with a houswarming party on August 11. If he came to our 'hood he just might get shot, stabbed, run over or mugged, or all of the above at the same time, I'm sure. It happens to us every day.
It's not your address that is most important. It is the size of your penis and the circumference of your anal opening.
I like the way brettcajun thinks.
are those dime bags full?
can we see some pictures of the aforementioned hotties?
are those dime bags full?
can we see some pictures of the aforementioned hotties?
I thought bitchy, griping was for Tuesdays, Jimbo. And why arent there pictures of the hotties. Pop out of the Oubliette and snap a few sercet like. If not, next time I'm in town, I'll help you rig up a lawn gnome with a web cam.
Yeah, where are the pics???? LOL
I hate snot-rags like that guy!
It's a bad sign to get that much judgment in an IM. Imagine if you'd met him?!
Jimbo,
Wait until you see MohawkHottie sans shirt and rollerblading being pulled around by his dog .... there's also FurryFratManRunner ... who makes me weak everytime he goes by .... and then there's the new straight couple that moved onto 200 block of O Street ...
Any man that can weild the word "immolating" properly has my undying loyalty.
Mowhawk hottie? I'll be right over.
I'm kinda' partial to the short, muscular, scruffy guy who lives across the street and a few houses down from you.
Actually Jimbo, the hottie homos continue all the way over to N. Capitol Street. I live at 1st and R NE and can vouch that no less than 6 houses on my block are owned by 30 and 40 something gays. Why we even have our own uber cool coffee house called Big Bear Cafe. Bloomingdale/Eckington is the new Logan/Shaw.
LOVE this post, jimbo.
we saw a guy jogging sans shirt a few weeks ago down q street in shaw and haven't been able to pick up our collective jaws since. I haven't seen the specimens you reference.
nellie's opened this past week. should draw a cool crowd.
Jimbo! Love the site! You're adorable.
People still think that Baltimore is to scary to visit let alone live in. But its been improving year after year and We got John Waters :-)
Anyway, it has been my experience that 90% of the DC population is snobby and never dare to venture outside their comfort zone or metro line
Aichaiya says HI
Ah, progress. When I moved to DC east of 16th was uncool; when I bought a house at 11th & Q I often got the kind of reaction you're talking about; jeez, all the way over at 11th must be uptown now.
One of my good DC friends has lived at 6th & T for years; she's quite happy there. The neighbors are nice. Is the House of Secrets still operating?
This is of course a universal thing in all cities though. Here it's "east side of downtown?" (Central Houston is basically arranged with people with money on the west, chemical plants and poor people on the east.) Or within my neighborhood, "North of 20th?"
OMG I'm remembering "The other side of Washington?" in Boston.
But I think "more easterly than I usually go" is code for "All my friends live in Manassas and vote Republican." How do you be a homo in DC and not know people in Shaw?
Argh, it's more or less the same when I tell people that I live in Rio. They either think I'm a surfer who lives in a tropical paradise while monkeys jump in my shoulder to get a banana or that I live in the middle or urban chaos and decay, while I carry a gun in my way to work (drug dealing, obviously). They really get surprised to know that scientists/nerds exist in Brazil...
I love me some SHAW too! My favorite part was my old view of 'Needlepoint Park' when I used to live right on New Jersey Ave by Dunbar Sr. High.
Great post!
He probably thinks there's a sign at the entrance to your neighborhood saying, "Two men enter, one man leaves."
I do love me some Auntie, though.
No No No, I spotted mohawk boy first, so I get to have him. BadSean spotted Shirtless Hottie first, so he gets to have him. You get to have Goatee Guy because you spotted him first AND because he walks his dog back and forth outside our house waiting for a chance to see more of Jimbo with no shirt on.
I saw a husband and wife walking down 13th St today carrying their golf clubs.
It's just not the same here any more...
John (BlueBayou) - I live at 11th and U and while we're definitely not as "cough" bohemian as we used to be (though the caverns are still going strong) we're pleasantly hip yet still cool. Hell, even Jimbo used to live down the block. The area is blossoming nicely, with some of the crap (too much traffic from Maryland) and lots of nice indie shops and restaurants (there ain't no Cheesecake factory thank god - though we do have a Starbucks, much to my shame).
I'll take exception to Jimbo's overgeneralization of the 14th and U area (which includes a large portion of Shaw as 9ths St is the new border). While there are lot of yuppies, I'd say most are progressive libber-types, well at least those who frequent the illegal dogpark where I go. That douchebag appointee in Harrison Sq. is the exception rather than the rule.
Why does everyone have to hate on 17th Street?
Mike
17-- R Street, NW
I don't hate 17th Street, I just said it's over. Except for breakfast at Trio's. That will never be over.
We will work on getting those photos of hotties from Shaw.
I recall someone not being too thrilled about thinking about moving further east and taking a certain amount of pleasure in having moved west into the last place. Or am I muddling my 'mos?
As usual, Carl, in thinking you've got my number, you miss the point of this post.
Who dares anger the mighty (and handsomely scruffy) jimbo? Let me at'em Let me at'em!
Look at it this way, if he was that narrow-minded he probably wasn't worth your time anyway.
If you are too easterly then Aaron and I are in the Twilight Zone over near Catholic U.
Man, try living in Brookland.
I get a mixture of "does it rain bullets there?" to "isn't that the suburbs?" (which it sort of is at times.
Shaw seems to be happening though.
But all this stuff is just the downside of living outside of the plastic zone. Don't sweat it. You're a pioneer.