"So...what do you do?"
Oh jeezus christ people. Calm down.
It's been most inconvenient," said Dacrie Brooks, a public relations professional attending the annual convention of the National Association of Broadcasters in Las Vegas. "I've been using (my BlackBerry) for all my communications because I don't have access to my laptop between meetings. It's been a challenging day because I'm missing things left and right. That's not fun."
God forbid you would be away from your e-mail for a few hours - but aren't you supposed to be communicating with live, real, organic-type people at the convention? I'm guessing she's the type who checks the 'berry obsessively in the middle of conversations. I'm so sorry you all had to suffer so much for an evening.
I keep forgetting to write about something that actually doesn't annoy me, I think since so many anoying things interrupt my thoughts all the time. The question that so many people find dreadful - "So...what do you do?" - really doesn't bother me that much. Yes, it is a question that is often overused in this region, but it is a question I had to seriously ask myself not so long ago.
In the midst of the dot-com era I worked as a website designer, and still do for limited amounts of time. But while I was doing it full-time and earning good money, I hated it most of the time. Then I bounced from one all-tech job to another, still hating what I was doing, but couldn't figure out why. Finally at the last job I hated so bad my boss even told me I hated it (which I denied at the time) I sought out the help of two fabulous and wise career counselors in exchange for launching their first business website.
While I had read through the infamous self-help book What Color is Your Parachute I knew I needed more personal advice from people who knew my situation and the town I was in. So after a few career counseling sessions I redirected my career path towards people and communicating, rather than web coding. It helped me better enjoy the 40+ hours that was part of my life.
While some do use the question as a method of appraisal in social settings, when asked what I do for a living I instead choose take it as a query into what I try to enjoy and excel at during a major portion of my life. I figure if you do something for that amount of time you might as well enjoy what you're doing and get paid for it too.
Of course my personal, home, social and recreational lives are just as important as my work life, and I try to balance them in equal portions. But I give people a break using that question in social situations since it's an easy avenue into a basic conversation. We all work, or most of us do, and answering it won't kill you. One only hopes that people asking it are actually interested in the other portions of my life too, since those aspects of a person's life are just as important as their work life. While my job doesn't identify me as a person, it does constitute a significant part of me, so I perceive the question as valid.
After the break is a simple exercise I did under career counseling that you can use to evaluate your gifts, passions, and values. Prioritize a short list of each, evaluate these items, and use your answers to direct your career search or development. I thought it was pretty useful and simple to conduct. As my career counselor said, "You're paid to use your gifts on things you're passionate about, in an environment that fits your values."
GIFTS
- connector ("Jimbo makes the people come together")
- graphics / desktop publishing / web work
- creativity / writing - I love (creative) writing and am told I write well
- information organization - I make great travel planning packages for work trips
- facilitation / planning - must...control...situation
- communication / speaking - no fear of public contact, but can be drained by it
- leader (president of college organizations, always organizing trips and similar events)
PASSIONS
- environment / natural world / wildlife
- making/creating things
- rugby
- outdoors / backpacking
- sci-fi / fantasy
- urban decay / rising crime rate / urban affordability
VALUES
- regular routine so I know whats coming
- variety / diversity of tasks
- no outrageous commute (downtown DC or Metrorail accessible)
- happy, educated, bright coworkers (I absorb the vibes around me too easily)
- mid- to small- sized company, nonprofit or association
- coworkers receptive to my skill advice and expertise
- equal pay for equal work - senority should not be the biggest determinant for salaries...production should
- my work can be accomplished in a 40-hour work week, within 8 hours each day
- when necessary (and only then) one must work late on occasion
- food and sleep should not be sacrificed for work
- my home/social/active life is just as important than my work life
- coworkers are just that...all should be equal in the workplace, and function as a unit or a team
- while professionalism is important, workplace stoicism is silly...your work persona should not deviate much from your normal persona...I want to work with people, not automatons
- flexible work schedules
- casual attire at work
- making good money
Ok...I've been reading your blog for some time now. Stumbled on to it while looking for blogs on RPGs.
I'm at my 3rd web design job and am at the "in denial about hating the job stage" (I think). After reading your excercise, I'm a bit creeped out with the similarities. So, I just have to ask: "What is it that you do?" or rather ended up doing.
When I lived in DC, the Three Mixer Questions were always:
1) What do you do
2) Where did you go to school
3) Where do you live.
Here in the South, #2 is often replaced by "Who is your family" or "Where do you go to church?"
I'm told out west #2 is often "What do you do for fun? (eg mountain bike, surf, etc)?
It's interesting to see regional variation on what is emphasized, and valued.
"So...what do you do?"
My answer is
"I head an international organization, which its sole goal is total world domination and subjugation of the Human race"
Small talk is apparently an advanced social skill in which fewer and fewer people are adept. DC=25, -1 for every cocktail consumed.
I usually try to avoid the question myself because it seems hackneyed, just a step or two above talking about the weather. But it is a good back up topic if you're not ready to move on from talking with someone.
You're inspiring me. Your values section is exactly what I have been thinking about during my current pre-mid-life crisis.
Now if I could just find a way to transition my current career into a gig where I could work for an automaker AND a ski gear manufacturer.
good post....blackberry addiction and why people go postal -- who knew?? genuine social relations are a major skill set and people find it amusing when i defer to retarded states of existence considering the less than stellar gratitude in some habits for being able to twirl on two legs or do the cha-cha. wait, maybe that's too gay or too "freakish" -- it's certainly more breathing friendly than being up everyone's skirt.
being from santa barbara....i usually only read one story from the local paper, as the oversights and queer-baiting are so tired. the intercultural, boating, and surf story visits seem more relevant at this point. i've done high-tech development and i can see beyond the tar pits -- or is that simply relating to evil uses of technology??
I started seeing a career counselor about a year ago. She's great. As it happens, she's also a writer (as I am), and her advice and encouragement have been really helpful to me. I'm still in a job I more or less detest (web content developer and designer--imagine that), but I've learned to look at my essentially stress-free (though dreadfully dull) job as a simply a means of supporting a comfortable lifestyle without subjecting me to long hours or screaming jerks. It could be a lot worse, and I know that.
Once upon a time, I was an academic, a German teacher at Princeton, and I always imagined I would be a teacher for the rest of my life. I got fed up with academia, though. So I entered the corporate world, which I found to be infinitely less pleasant than I had expected. (And I had expected it to be pretty damn unpleasant.)
When I was a teacher, if people asked me "So what do you do," I readily identified myself as a teacher. Now I'm sort of ashamed of my job, so just answer "Oh, just a stupid desk job for The Man."
The three DC questions above are actually slightly more polite ways of getting an answer to the real question, which is, "Are you important or useful enough to bother with?"