It's Flipper!

I recently discovered a couple of local 'bubble blogs,' smugly forecasting an end to the local real estate bubble phenomenon that continually reminds me of the boom and bust of the dot-com era. Go visit Bubble Meter and Crash (love the titles & the content awash in self-satisfied smugness). Euphoric optimism, outrageous profits, questionable deals, unrealistic financial plans, followed by small hints of doom before the crash. Then it's all over, honey. Been there and done that, and saw this bubble for what it will soon cease to be. I've heard of so many sketchy financing packages going to newly arrived twinks who have bought properties on a $32K salary, sketchy loans, and no down payment. One false move or another national crisis and you're screwed, buddy.

All I have to say is that I can hope the patient and those actually interested in living rather than profiting on such properties will inherit the the earth that the flippers, impatient, herdy and unwise now reside.

Local Case Study: there is a home at the end of my block that recieved a makeover from HGTV's Curb Appeal television program. The property is beautiful, but there were signs that the people were merely 'flippers' from the 'burbs or those only carpetbagging here in The District until they get their 2 or 4 years with Senator Gadonkadonk or Representative Peapody, and will then leave. My upstairs neighbors (renters like me) are the same...people who aren't really interested in living in The District for the long term, who show a general lack of concern for neighborhood affairs. They'll throw their trash out back on an off-trash day, not bag it properly, and then just leave it out there all weekend if the garbage man doesn't pick it up. A pair of rusty bikes, untouched for over a year, remain shackled to our front stairwell. They just don't care what the neighbors think because they are not planning on interacting with their neighborhood in any way, and aren't interested in the effects their actions (or lack thereof) have on the rest of their neighbors. Their greatest concerns are finding the best happy hour prices at whatever watering hole is most hip for the day. Having lived there almost a year, yet in less time than they have, I have already met and know the names of at least four of my neighbors. None of the kids upstairs know any of their neighbors, and can barely remember my name.

Also take Queen Kong (my name for her) who bought the last house that abuts the African-American Civil War Memorial where my MetroRail exit is located. She's spent the last year tearing out the inside of the property to achieve the most prestigious riposte in gay cocktail conversations: the ability to say "We gutted it," to all her gay friends at JRs. And yet when I nod or say hello to him when I'm coming from or going to work ( as I think a good neighbor should ) all I get is this terrified, aghast look in response. I'm assuming he's probably from Boston judging by those reactions. Let me note that I am not rubbing my crotch while delivering these salutations, thank you!

Same with the Flipper Family down the street. They have only recently achieved the ability to say "hello" to me when I pass. I dunno, I think you should get to know people where you live, and not be afraid of them. Their yard remained ignored after their television show home makeover. Gator bags that water the trees unfilled, bushes untrimmed, the fabulous bird bath unfilled throughout last summer. Like many not interested in or terrified of actually living in The District, when they come home they rush from their car to the front door, and close it quickly behind them lest they get shot by a random drive-by. There is little lingering outside to chat or relax in the sunshine or else you may have to interact with people you'll eventually forget, as you won't be living there long anyway.

And last month, sure enough after less than a year living there, a For Sale sign appeared in their front yard. Flippers. They're jumping the market like rats off a sinking ship, and have probably already experienced some depreciation in the true reason they moved there. Sadly, they had no intention of gaining appreciation of the people, neighborhood or city around them.

Hopefully once this real estate madness passes, the people who are living in The District are those who want to live there in order to live, rather than to profit. I believe when more people who are interested in civic participation are around, we will see an improvement in cleanliness, quality of life issues, education and other things, and a drop in the crime rate once people are around who give a shit enough to get involved with local politics and reporting crimes. Flippers and carpetbaggers look out their windows from behind their security bars, shrug their shoulders, and refrain from making an effort to report crimes because they were never interested in getting involved in the first place.