A.D.D. Prayer

God grant me the Serenity to accept my tasks at work,
The Courage to focus on one thing at a time,
and the Wisdom to know the difference between work and e-mail and blogging and washigntonpost.com and calling Gurl and looking at bigmuscle.com and looking out the window and planning my week and thinking about what time I should go to the gym and who's going to rugby practice tonight and what I'm gonna do for Memorial Day and how cute that one guy at lunch was and...

Far be it for me to whine about things, but recently it's been quite dry in the nookie and dating scene. Not all of it can be blamed on fate, however. I've been a bit of a flake lately, gathering phone numbers, promising dates and never following up on them, or cancelling outright. I think I tend to make appointments on a Friday, where I'm high from the week's end, and then when the week is looming over me on Monday, I grasp desperately for my precious Jimbo Time.

Or maybe I'm just not ready for such things. It requires some emotional serenity (or recklessness) to be ready to invest in any kind of relationship. It requires a willingness to be ready for some pain and struggle. Sort of like me and rugby last year. I was playing like crap, as I was terrified to get hurt since I had no insurance coverage to take care of a major wound. So I just quit playing altogether. Now I'm fully healed with insurance coverage, and I'm playing (somewhat) well again.

But the comparison ends there. I wasn't really hurt in the last relationship, it just wore me out, more like an Ironman Triathalon than a rugby match. It was a grueling race that found me crawling across the finish line at 11:59:59 P.M. with blisters on my feet and my nose peeling from a bad sunburn. One that requires more rest and ice packs afterwards than stiches and Advil. Nothing that won't heal over. I just don't want to get off the couch right now, I want to keep my feet elevated for the time being.

And there's also the 'When It Rains, It Pours' theory. Things'll come around, I'm sure.